With so many festivals happening this summer, I feel it is my duty to deliver a concise, unbiased report of the leading musical gatherings set to occur this summer. \nBut in stark contrast, I also feel it is my duty to call it like I see it. The latter seems to outweigh the former in this situation. What follows is not the balanced, dispassionate exposition some might hope for, but a sincerely opinionated outline intended for the reader who appreciates the brand of blinkered journalism championed by Fox News.
New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival, April 24 - May 4, New Orleans, LA\nBy far one of the most venerated and diverse of the bunch, this annual festival held in and around New Orleans is sure to satisfy those who seek to cleanse themselves of any goodness or virtue and soak in pure sin. What else is two weeks in New Orleans but trouble and blackouts? With classic rockers Crosby, Stills & Nash (note there is no Young, both sadly and aptly implying the true nature of these aging rock pioneers) and Bob Dylan, jam band staples like Widespread Panic, fresh acts like John Mayer (fresh does not imply good in this case) and Ben Harper, along with a incomprehensible list of jazz, country, gospel and R&B groups, it's apparent there is almost too much going on here to really enjoy the experience and soak it all up. Another disadvantage is that one must pay individually for each show, rather than paying a flat fee like many others festivals. All in all, Jazzfest is worth it for the true music aficionado, or for a drunk who can take 10 days off.
Bonnaroo and Bonnaroo NE, June 13-15 and August 8-10, Manchester, TN and Calverton-Riverhead, NY\nThe success of last year's inaugural Bonnaroo music festival not only paved the way for another in the same location, but necessitated a Northeastern festival of the same name and nature for all those people in New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, etc., who whined about last year's middle of nowhere location and infamous Tennessee traffic jams. Bonnaroo NE's lineup is yet to be confirmed, but the real Bonnaroo seems like it is on the same superb track as last year's. The lineup is similar but has been tweaked to include a wider range of music, not just the jam bands who still continue to dominate and define the festival. Notable additions to this year are The Flaming Lips, The Roots, Neil Young & Crazy Horse, James Brown and The Dead (who used to be The Other Ones, who used to be The Grateful Dead, who used to be at the cutting edge of the genre.) The festival also features the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players, a group that performs music as they show random slides, featuring father Jason on guitar and keys, wife Tina as head projectionist and their nine year-old daughter on drums. The immense campgrounds provide the hedonistic backdrop for what could be a repeat of last year's glorious insanity and traffic.
10,000 Lakes Music Festival, July 3-5, Detroit Lakes, MN\nThey might as well have called this music festival "Bonnaroo NW," considering that the lineup is a carbon copy of the aforementioned event, albeit slightly abbreviated. Widespread Panic headlines two nights, but this band is so ubiquitous when it comes to summer festivals this year that it would financially reckless to pay to see them here unless it is practically in your backyard. The real draw to this festival is it's placement on Independence Day weekend, a shrewd move by the promoters who are sure to draw more than it's worth because of that fact. Overall, 10,000 Lakes is a good event to attend if BBQs and fireworks are getting a little worn out for you.
Lollapalooza, July 3- August 30, Various Venues across the Nation\nAnother revival of the seminal rock music festival started by Perry Farrell of Jane's Addiction. His band will once again headline, along with the early '90s hard rock refugee camp known as Audioslave, Queens of the Stone Age, Incubus and Jurassic 5 (so this is what happens to "progressive" hip-hop acts). It's a decent festival for those who seek to separate themselves from the Wookie-like hippie conglomeration and sink into the painful oblivion of a mosh pit. \nGood luck and good vibes to those and all the others who will be seeing musical festivals this summer.
