Talented cast wasted in stilted King retread

Having never read Stephen King's novel "Dreamcatcher" puts me at a slight disadvantage in discerning what exactly unfurled during writer/director Lawrence Kasdan's cinematic adaptation/abortion of the same name. Many cite it as King's worst book to date and, if the film's any indication, they're probably right on the money. \n"Dreamcatcher" centers on four lifelong friends: Henry (Thomas Jane), Beaver (Jason Lee), Jonesy (Damian Lewis) and Pete (Timothy Olyphant). United as children when rescuing a mentally retarded classmate named Duddits (played in adult form by former New Kids on the Block member Donnie Wahlberg), the four are endowed with poorly defined telepathic powers. As adults, the men gather for a hunting trip in the wintry woods of Maine in which their preternatural abilities are put to the ultimate test when an alien invasion occurring within their midst transforms these hunters into the hunted. \nSoon, the soldiers are deployed, led by the megalomanical Col. Curtis, a none-too-thinly veiled reference to Marlon Brando's character in "Apocalypse Now," as portrayed in career-worst fashion by Morgan Freeman. He's assisted by Capt. Owen Underhill, a drastically underused Tom Sizemore. What ensues is a disjointed mishmash of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers," Kasdan's "The Big Chill" and King's "Stand By Me" (titled "The Body" in novella form) with a healthy dose of poop and fart humor thrown in for good mix. \nThe beginning portions of the film, while odd, are actually pretty entertaining, as is much of the acting. Lewis, who's best known for his work in the critically acclaimed HBO mini-series "Band of Brothers," shines as Jonesy. In implementing his faux American and native British accents in differentiating the human and alien sides of his character, he doesn't fail to impress. Lee and Olyphant also bring humor to this otherwise dunderheaded enterprise.\nWhere "Dreamcatcher" ultimately fails is in its scripting. Kasdan (who wrote both "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and "The Empire Strikes Back" prior to directing) and his legendary co-writer William Goldman (the pen behind such classics as "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," "All the President's Men," "The Princess Bride" and the masterful King adaptation "Misery") should have known better. Their prose is cluttered with poor dialogue and the worst climax I've seen in sometime. Also, any flick in which an alien enters and exits its human vessel via the anus isn't scary, it's crude and laughable, much like "Dreamcatcher" itself.