Over-sensitive America

I once said that the culture shock of adapting to America was a pleasant experience. Well, it still is, but there are some tricky little mismatches that are quite disturbing.\nImmediately upon my arrival here, because I was born south of the Texas border, I was awarded the label of Latino.\nThis labeling habit is really funny. People hear my accent, label me as Latino and presto -- it is assumed I speak Spanish and dance salsa. It is such a massacre of the myriad of cultures and habits of the peoples of the rest of the American continents that it astonishes me.\nI am not offended when people speak Spanish to me. However, it takes me a while to get my brain switching from English to Portuguese to Spanish, and by the time I manage to grumble the basic words I know, the person is probably wondering why I am taking so long to reply. Sometimes I even read alarm in people's faces "Oops. Did I offend him?"\nThis alarm is a problem to me. It seems that every person here is really jumpy about this "minority" issue. After arriving here, I became self-conscious about race and gender. Back in Brazil, if my interlocutor is black, it makes no difference to me. I don't feel the fear of saying something that might sound remotely offensive and being completely torn apart in return. Here, I am on the tip of my toes all the time, making sure I will not say anything that may slightly resemble discrimination.\nAnother difference is that in my culture, a boy learns that holding the door to a woman is always nice. He is supposed to offer help to a woman, especially with stuff like carrying heavy things or changing a flat tire. Note, Brazilian women can, and will, change a tire if needed. But offering this sort of help is not at all seen as demeaning.\nHere, however, this cultural aspect is quite different. I offered help a couple times, and I got girls barking back at me, clearly offended. The first time I was snapped at, I was sincerely shocked. It took me a while to understand that it is a matter of independence: A woman has to show that she can do just the same as a man can. I respect and even support the idea behind that, but I still resent the aggressive response.\nWell, so much for gallantry while I am here.\nI am not claiming that in Brazil there is no prejudice, or that it is somehow better. Prejudice is a big problem there. When a black person or a woman has to prove their value, they will. Such prejudices are associated with ignorance, and Brazil has a large number of ignorant, non-educated people. When proving their value to others, the aim is to change social behavior, not fight every single person that looks like a purveyor of prejudice. It seems that pre-emptive attacks are not the way to go down there.\nI see the movement to prove the worthiness of those who belong to "minorities" as a very legitimate one. Several times I have been treated as a lesser person, only because I come from a "lesser" country. And I know it hurts. Some of the times I even cried for being completely humiliated. And sometimes the offense came from educated people whom I would not expect to be ignorant.\nBut I still think being bitter and aggressive isn't quite the way to go. Barking back at people are of such a blithe lack of diplomacy that they may even achieve an effect contrary to the one desired.