Are you a good fan?

Being an IU basketball fan is no cake walk: We're forced to sit in a stadium with a shoddier design than a Pontiac Aztec. We currently have eight different school colors as part of Mike McNeely's quest to set our athletic department back 15 years. There's no mascot to amuse us and as far as we know, the ticket office is still accepting basketball ticket applications for this season. \nIn addition, we're constantly teased about Bob Knight and questioned: "Hoosier daddy?" until we're pushed into swallowing six Cadbury Crème Eggs at once in a horrific attempt to end it all for good. I'm telling ya, it's a tough job. However, that doesn't suggest we should be sub-par fans. There are several trends circulating campus that absolutely must go. \nIf you were tossing around cab drivers or showing off your breasts in celebration during the Hoosiers' tournament run last year and are now one of the individuals calling for Mike Davis' (aka: The Doctor's) head, shame on you. There is nothing more appalling in the sports world than fair weather fans (except maybe for a Mike Tyson interview). Don't hop on and off the bandwagon of IU's record. I will come after you. \nAs the squad struggles, don't boo or scream "NIT" at them. These are kids -- 19- and 20-year-olds just like you. They aren't professional athletes. Their bodies and minds are pushed to the limit on a daily basis. They're sleep-deprived, and as an added bonus -- they receive no compensation. How would you like it if A.J. Moye stomped into your classroom while you were taking an exam, got in your grill and started booing and chanting, "Unemployment! Unemployment!"? Do you really think that would enhance your performance?\nIf you own one of those "Crimson Crazies" shirts, please use it only as a table cleaning device for "flippy cup" races. Never wear it in public. Why are we compelled to blatantly rip off another school's idea (Duke University's oh so hip "Cameron Crazies")? All of those banners hanging in Assembly Hall mean we've established a superior tradition; thus mimicking anyone else is completely unnecessary. \nOur past successes also prevent us from ever rushing the court -- we're expected to win. Rushing the court is the equivalent to those guys at the HPER who have a celebratory seizure every time they make a routine lay-up. Come on man, act like you've been there before.\nCan we all please make a pact to exterminate the "overrated" chant from Assembly Hall? Every time this starts echoing throughout the stadium I immediately spin my IU hoodie around my body and throw up in the hood. What we're essentially saying to the other team with this chant is, "You guys can't be any good because even our team was able to defeat you." Does anyone else see how utterly absurd this is? Am I alone on this one?\nThat being said, rumor has it one more loss to Northwestern will result in the University boarding up the windows of the athletic department and closing down the shop. And it's really a shame because we've had such a nice run. However, if this happens, can the IDS opinion columnists replace our basketball players as the big men on campus? Take a second to locate the photo of my boy Rory Starks on this page. Don't tell me that he doesn't have what all the ladies crave. I won't listen.