Only you can prevent bad PSAs

After observing what a great job our generation did at preventing forest fires, avoiding downed power lines and taking bites out of crime, it's no wonder current ad councils feel today's youth should also be nurtured by such valuable TV messages. However, sweeping in behind the likes of Smokey, Louie and McGruff, creators of the modern public service announcement have a tough act to follow. They're fresh out of animal characters, but they offer the next best thing -- "Friends" star David Schwimmer, staring solemnly at the camera, asking the youngsters of the nation if they like being judged by the way they look. "I don't," he answers, with an absurd look of deadpan earnestness. Gee thanks, Ross. We want our lightning bug back.\nSchwimmer's profound advice on tolerance is only a fraction of the knowledge NBC offers viewers through its "The More You Know" public service campaign. Over the past decade, stars featured in the spots have commented on everything from domestic abuse and family time to STDs and safe driving. NBC's Web site refers to "The More You Know" as a "comprehensive and powerful public service campaign." Perhaps if they did it right, it would be. But because the messages of late have been ridiculously general, strangely worded and undeniably witless, TMYK is nothing more than an all-encompassing, fame-exploited guide to living an obvious and decent life -- as brought to you by NBC, authority of all.\nYes, "The More You Know" could use a creative overhaul. But at least its producers play fair. Not so forthright is Leo Burnett USA, creator of the "Marijuana: Harmless?" campaign for the Partnership for a Drug-Free America. Unlike NBC, they were successful at conveying a powerful message -- and they only had to exaggerate a couple facts to do it. \nIn one of the ads, "delayed reaction" from marijuana is illustrated by a little girl getting run over by a dazed and confused driver. In another, "impaired judgment" is demonstrated by a teenage boy who accidentally shoots his friend with a gun he didn't think was loaded. \nMarijuana is certainly not harmless. It will blacken your lungs; it will toast your memory. It will get you arrested. Indeed, it will even cause delayed reaction time and impaired judgment. Any of these things make it deserving of a public service announcement. But think of the potheads you know. "Delayed reaction" doesn't involve random victims on pink bicycles. It just means they won't get to the kitchen until 20 minutes after they decide they're hungry. The "impaired judgment" presented in the ad doesn't cause people to recklessly wield loaded firearms. It means when they finally get to the kitchen, they'll think it's a good idea to put onion cream cheese on a fig Newton.\nLeo Burnett and the PDFA are big fat cheaters. Instead of letting legitimate information speak for itself, they distorted the facts for the sake of good television. Smokey would never do that to us.\nThe Harvard Center for Risk Analysis just released a study that actually should cause worry among pig-tailed pedestrians. They estimate drivers using cell phones will cause 2,600 deaths, 330,000 injuries and 1.5 million instances of property damage in the U.S. per year. NBC's got the stars, and Leo Burnett's got the drama. Why don't they pool their resources and finally serve the public with an announcement worthy of making? Put a well-known actress in a SUV next to David Schwimmer and turn it over on the highway. After you make it clear that neither survive, zoom in on the bloody hand that is still holding the phone. If your targeted demographics aren't responding, run another where McGruff investigates the crash site. He could get the whole world gnawing on that one.