Walking the college walk

Remember when you were a little child (if not, remember when you watched a little child on TV) and the day came for you to take your very first step. Quickly you prop yourself up, clinging to a nearby decorative gun rack for balance (no child proof home would be complete without one), and then for the first of many times, you will attempt something you may or may not care to do: Walk. This will be the first in a line of many times that you will do something for no other good reason than to get your parents to quit nagging you. Next thing you know, you're vacuuming for your mom, running from school yard bullies, then inevitably, smuggling drugs across the border.\nWell, here at IU, each student will need to learn to walk again, but this time with the pressures of an unwritten code. First, as you know by now, there are the IU buses. You will start the four years trying desperately to catch the buses without having to ever run for them, then quickly your pride is chipped away as you sprint to catch one of the 60 "A" buses as they whiz by. That brings me to running with a hangover, I've done it once, and the fumes the buses exude in your face as they pull away leaving you stranded are not therapeutic. \nAnother facet to pedestrian-ship (Is that a word? If not, it should be, is walking amongst the traffic, those darn bikes included). Darting quickly across the road, even without the permission of the glowing "walk" sign, you place your life in a certain state of jeopardy. You must learn to weave safely so as not to waste a moment's time on the corner since you are probably 10 minutes late to class anyway. Pedestrians, for the love of God, look both ways when crossing the road, there is very little truth to the rumor that you will get a free ride from the University if you are hit (see IDS archives, Feb. 5, 2002, "Pedestrian Problem"). \nAlso, there are the subtle nuances of person-to-person interaction on the pathways. First, if there are three of you walking, that is fine, but if someone is coming in the opposite direction, you or one of your two friends needs to fall slightly behind. That person coming in the other direction should not need to walk on the grass to make room for your Herve Chapelier bags. \nDon't stop in the middle of the busy hallways between classes to chat, some of us are already late for our next classes and need to get there fast. If you're walking down an empty hallway and a person you don't know is coming in the opposite direction, for the love of all things that are holy, say hello! There's a good chance that person is an IU student, so why not just be friendly? It takes no time at all. I mean, could the display case on prehistoric sap moss really be that much more interesting than short-lived eye contact with another person? This also goes for paths on campus. Don't look at your feet, just smile. \nEven if you've hooked up with that person and haven't seen them since, you will impress this person with your confidence.