How much for a frosh?

Freshmen are like puppies.\nAt first, they are soooo cute! They're tiny and stumble around completely confused. They chew on desk legs and you just want to walk up to one and give him or her a great big hug. However, you must resist this temptation because nobody wants to start a semester being known as the "hugger."\nIt's hard, though, because they are soooo innocent and you think that maybe, just maybe if you touch one, some of that will rub off. \nBut it won't. All you'll get is the mystified stare of a kid, trying to figure out how they can possibly look cool with their parents, who have yet to tell their little one goodbye.\nSome freshmen have trouble adjusting. They seem fine at first, but then they pee on the floor and all you can do is shake your head and say to a fellow upperclassman, "We should have bought a hamster."\nEventually, they'll get used to their new surroundings and the "accidents" won't happen as frequently. After about two weeks, some of them may even know where they're going in more specific terms than "that big brick building over there," but you won't want to give them a congratulatory hug because it's been two weeks and you KNOW that a few of them have refused to warm up to the concept of a community shower.\nFreshman Fact No. 1: You cannot appropriately clean yourself with a water bottle.\nFreshman Fact No. 2: That funky smell is you. Get over it and take a shower.\nIt's just soooo cool watching freshmen experience college life for the first time. Exploring their new territory, playing catch with Frisbees and tumbling over each other in that playful manner only freshmen can manage. And it's just soooo sad to know, in about a month, they'll all be grown-up college students and you'll be thinking, "Where did the time go?"\nSo, treasure the first few weeks of freshmen. If you see one spinning around in circles, take him or her by the shoulders and gently point out which way is straight. If you see one looking a little depressed, tell a funny anecdote too about when you were a college puppy and couldn't figure out why the squirrels around here are so small (turns out they're chipmunks…that perplexed me for weeks). If you see one sniffing a fire hydrant, immediately call the IU Police Department and keep a safe distance because they could very well be rabid.\nFinally, a bit of advice for all freshmen: Don't be afraid to ask for help during the first few days of college. Not all of us once rookie students are crazies who like to hug random people. There may actually be some who know what they're talking about. I'm not one of course, but I've heard they exist. Good luck!