Snow Dogs - PG\nStarring: Cuba Gooding Jr., James Coburn, Sisqo\nDirected by: Brian Levant\nShowing: Showplace West 12\nMy eyes hurt, and I'll tell you why; I just subjected them to 99 minutes of agony, courtesy of the film "Snow Dogs."\nThe story (such as it is) revolves around Ted Brooks (Cuba Gooding Jr.), a Miami dentist who unexpectedly discovers that he's adopted, and that his real mother lived up in Alaska, fending for herself against the wilderness. You can almost hear the writers flipping through the American Film Institutes' "Big Book of Dumb Cinematic Clichés."\nTo make a long story short, he heads up to Alaska and gets handed a team of sled dogs left to him in a will by his deceased mother. Incidentally, the dogs think he's a moron and pull a bunch of "hilarious" tricks on him. Up until now this point it sounds like a typical aimed-at-the-youth-market comedy, but unfortunately it lacks two vital components -- humor and charm. Don't get me wrong, I actually dig kids movies ("Aladdin" is a personal favorite), but "Snow" just lacks the heart and humor for a kids movie, or the "in joke" tongue-in-cheek humor that adults would pay to see.\nAnyway, up North Ted runs into the standard-issue "beautiful woman who just so happens to be perfect for him," played by actress Joanna Bacalso. For such a small and fluffy part, she actually brought some life to her pitifully two-dimensional character, and for that she deserves admiration.\nMeanwhile, the antagonist in this tepid little tale is a burly mountain man (a polite term for Alaskan redneck) Thunder Jack (James Coburn). Basically, he stands around and barks that city folk have no business up here in the North, yada yada. You get the idea.\nBasically, the facial expressions from the dogs are about the most enjoyable parts of this otherwise utterly forgettable film. Gooding obviously just signed on to do a light flick and get a hefty paycheck in return, and the rest of the cast is just plain underused. "Snow Dogs" is a passable sample of plain-vanilla family entertainment, but I'd be surprised if it entertained anyone other than kids. If you're a big sled-dog fan or an admirer of Gooding, then wait for it to come out on video.\n
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