Call a friend, revive a friendship

Stop reading this and call your best friend. Almost anything can wait the five minutes required to call and say, "Hi. Just wanted to see what's up." And if the conversation generated by that greeting stretches from five minutes to 45, that's even better. No, this isn't a lesson in procrastination. It's a life lesson. \nI spent last Friday at the funeral of one of my best friends from high school. I've done this three times in the last two years. My extended circle of old friends is being decimated, and I've seen some of them more often at funerals in the last 18 months than I have in years. Undoubtedly, as we collectively age, this is bound to happen, yet everyone feels that we've been hit particularly hard lately. \nLast week it was my friend Michele. She died in a tragic car accident just two days after her 30th birthday. Friends far and near converged at the funeral home yet again. We tearfully greeted each other yet again. We viewed collages of photographs and laughed through our tears at haircuts past yet again. Finally, we sat in a pew and cried together as we bid one of our group a far-too-early farewell yet again.\nI cried as hard as anyone, but for a slightly different reason. Those photo collages that we assemble are always chronologically arranged. I'm in the pictures representing the high school and early college years, and then I disappear for the next eight-year's worth. During that time, I was busy living a life that I thought left me no time for my old friends. I spoke with a few occasionally, but the others were too difficult to keep up with.\nI thought I didn't miss them, too. That was, until I found myself divorced at age 28 and realized that nothing that made me "me" was left. \nDuring Michele's funeral, her four oldest friends stood together to share memories. Like Michele, the four of them were once my best friends. But while I drifted away in our early 20s, they fought geography and scheduling and remained a close-knit group. As they shared their memories of Michele, I cried mostly for what I'd missed.\nIn my new life, I have reconnected with almost everyone I lost for most of my 20s. I've reappeared in the most recent photos. But it's harder to connect now, and I don't think I'll ever be able to recover the time I lost.\nThe recent deaths of three good friends have taught me well. Nothing is more important than the people who matter to you. Certainly not school or work. No physical distance is insurmountable. No relationship that alienates you from them is worth it.\nSure, some friendships may require higher maintenance than others. But it's worth the effort when you hug the old friend who, as Michele once did, passed you a cheesy note in a boring algebra class that read, "Smile. It improves your face value," making you laugh until you got detention. Those few souls who knew you when you were young are worth the effort to maintain the connection. So call an old friend today. If you've fallen out of touch, then reconnect. Keep building those memories together while you still have the chance.