Bad Company -- PG-13
Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Chris Rock
Directed by: Joel Schumacher
Showing: Showplace West 12
Okay, so we're talking about a spy thriller that stars Anthony Hopkins ("Silence of the Lambs," "Hannibal," "Mission Impossible 2," et al) and Chris Rock ("Dogma," "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" and films of that ilk). There are two possibilities for such a combination. The first being a blinding hit of epic magnitude; the second and, unfortunately, more accurate result is a steaming pile of garbage that will make you wish you had a blunt object with which to gouge out your eyes.
Here's the breakdown. The film is directed by the notorious Joel Schumacher -- the man that single-handedly took the Batman films from an entertaining franchise ("Batman," "Batman Returns") to an insulting, inane and agonizing one ("Batman Forever," "Batman & Robin"). SURPRISE! This movie is rancid, too! I weep openly at the horror that is this film. Every decent joke or line is in the trailers and commercials.
The plot (and dear God do I use that term loosely) centers around stopping terrorists from getting their paws on a "briefcase nuke" -- a portable nuclear bomb capable of (you guessed it) destroying a city. Much poorly delivered dialogue ensues as our heroes pursue the naughty and, naturally, socially acceptable Eastern European terrorists across Europe in a bid to get the nuke back. There's this whole subplot about twin brothers separated at birth, but it's all just a smoke screen to put two "odd couple" style characters into sticky situations.
Anthony Hopkins must be getting desperate for a paycheck because he is certainly sleepwalking through this film. We're talking about an Academy Award winning actor delivering lines of such poor quality they could have come from a fortune cookie.
Please, please, I beg of you readers, do not see this film. Just, for the love of all that is good and holy, avoid this film like you would a live grenade. Save yourselves.
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