Baseball will live on, I predict it

They actually play Major League Baseball games in-between Congressional hearings and contraction threats. Forthcoming is a set of fearful predictions for the 2002 season. Teams are listed in predicted order of finish:\nNL East: Atlanta, Florida, N.Y. Mets, Montreal, Philadelphia\nThe Braves have Gary Sheffield and Chipper Jones in the outfield now and Greg Maddux will make it 15 consecutive years with at least 15 wins. Here's guessing the Marlins make the playoffs behind Cliff Floyd and a pitching staff with filthy stuff.\nThe Mets decided to get an offense in the offseason. Mo Vaughn, however, is already on the downhill side and the pitching is average. Reports from Expos' camp have been disturbing with the terms "equipment" and "pre-Castro Cuba" being mentioned in the same breath. There are about five good players here though. Whenever the Phillies feel optimistic about themselves, they usually go in the trash bin.\nNL Central: St. Louis, Houston, Chicago Cubs, Cincinnati, Milwaukee, Pittsburgh\nThe Cardinals aren't a sure bet because Woody Williams and Albert Pujols aren't that good, but they'll pull through. The Astros should be good, but why did they change managers?\nThe Cubs will hang around .500. Jon Lieber will win 20 games again about the same time I digest my hat. The only thing you need to know about the Reds is that Joey Hamilton and his 5.93 ERA will start on Opening Day.\nThe Brewers will have their tenth straight losing season. If you don't like MLB Commissioner Bud Selig, this is about as close as revenge gets. The Pirates have to wait out the ridiculous contracts given to mediocrities like Pat Meares, Kevin Young and Pokey Reese. We'll miss you, Derek Bell.\nNL West: Colorado, San Francisco, San Diego, Arizona, Los Angeles\nThe Rockies, who seemingly make a trade a day, will go from worst to first as the moves will pay off. The Giants will fall just short like they usually do, but Jeff Kent will defeat Jeremy McGrath at the World Championships of Motocross.\n The Padres should stay over .500 because of a terrific offense. The Diamondbacks are fourth-place material with Matt Williams, Erubiel Durazo, Jay Bell and Todd Stottlemyre hurt. The Dodgers have 17 starting pitchers but few offensive weapons.\nAL East: N.Y. Yankees, Boston, Toronto, Tampa Bay, Baltimore\n Sure, the Yankees have all the money in the world, but give them credit for spending it wisely. The Red Sox will finish second, breaking the hearts of all the Red Sox fans at ESPN.\nThe Blue Jays will be good in time, but if I am sure of one prediction, it's that the Jays will finish third. What can I say that's interesting about the Devil Rays? Manager Hal McRae throws interesting temper tantrums. That's about it. Can you name five players on the Orioles? Boog Powell doesn't count.\nAL Central: Chicago White Sox, Cleveland, Minnesota, Kansas City, Detroit\nCan the White Sox win this division with a sub-.500 record? Don't count it out. The Indians look good but not great.\nTwins fans will have a team but will need extra Pepto for when the bullpen arrives. The Royals are so inept I wouldn't guess them to become good even if baseball added a salary cap.\nHaving Phil Garner manage the Tigers at Comerica Park is like having the guy who painted "Dogs Playing Poker" do a mural at the Sistine Chapel.\nAL West: Seattle, Oakland, Texas, Anaheim\nDid you know the Mariners led the AL in runs scored last year in their first year without Alex Rodriguez? Unlike the Royals, if baseball gets a salary cap, the A's might go on a Yankee-like World Series dynasty. They are almost there as it is.\nThe Rangers have new general manager John Hart's stamp on it going back to Hart's days as Cleveland GM: awesome hitting, power arms in the bullpen and six-inning starters. The Angels might have a .500 record. As corporate owners go, Disney makes the Tribune Co. and Anheuser-Busch look good. Yikes!\nIn the NL playoffs, the Cardinals will then make quick work of the Rockies for the pennant. The AL playoffs will feature the Mariners taking care of the White Sox (again), the Yankees taking care of the A's (again) and the Mariners taking the flag in a seven-game AL Championship Series from the Yankees.\nIn a battle of cute, cuddly managers, Lou Piniella's Mariners will defeat Tony LaRussa's Cardinals in the World Series.\nPlease do not clip and save. Nobody needs to know about this.