What the hooka?

Last week, I was invited to what I thought was called an "acoustic hookah" concert and, of course, I agreed. How can anyone turn down an offer to go to an acoustic hookah concert?\nThe only problem was that I had no idea what a hookah was. I assumed it to be some kind of long, tribal horn used by the Flintstones, but this is probably because my brain was eaten away by watching too many cartoons growing up.\nSo I wasn't exactly sure what a hookah was, but I do like orchestras for the most part, so I knew it couldn't be that bad.\nWe walked up to the place where the concert was being held, and I immediately knew something was up. The place was crawling with an infestation of young people sporting dreadlocks and swirling, multi-colored T-shirts. Three out of every four people were wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt. I never really figured this crowd to be the orchestra type.\nBut I ignored this and walked inside the concert hall and paid for my ticket. As we walked toward the seats, we passed a booth selling records for some band called ekoostik hookah.\nI'd like to say I figured out what was happening at this point, but unfortunately, I put clues together about as well as Inspector Gadget. (Yes, that was the second cartoon reference in this column. Yes, I realize what this says about me.)\nIt wasn't until I asked my friend why this didn't seem like a normal orchestra and she shot me the strangest look ever that the pieces started to come together.\nI wasn't at an orchestra at all. No, I was at a concert for a jam band named ekoostik hookah. Furthermore, there is no instrument called a hookah. A hookah is another term for a bong. I'm now so ready for the Jeopardy category, "Things You Could Have Gone Through Life Without Knowing."\nIt was at this point I looked down at my clothes. I am wearing a buttoned-down shirt, a pair of pressed khakis and some nice shoes. I look around me and realize that I am the only one in this auditorium wearing any of these things. I'm more out of place than that time I accidentally wandered onto the "Sesame Street" set. That was embarrassing. \nThe band was actually quite good, though. But I was busy concentrating on one of the guitarists who honestly looked like he belonged in the Chuck E. Cheese Band (formerly known as the Showbiz Pizza band). His body swayed like a puppet with a couple of strings missing.\nI have a theory of how the Chuck E. Cheese Band negatively affects young children, but this column can only be 500 words, so maybe some other time. I will say that my mother used to tell me to be good or the Chuck E. Cheese Band would come and get me -- a thought that still haunts me today.\nOverall, I once again proved that I am a big idiot. But at least I'm a big idiot who now knows what a hookah is.