What to expect this baseball season

The resin bag sitting next to the pitching rubber, a perfectly placed bunt down the third-base line, a manager trying to play the numbers by making a double switch, a vendor in the bleachers yelling, "Cold beer, here!" \nAll of these are joyous reminders that baseball season is upon us once again.\nSo what lies ahead in 2001? We know that it brings the 100th Anniversary of the American League, and that the Pittsburgh Pirates and Milwaukee Brewers will play in brand new ballparks. Alex Rodriguez and Manny Ramirez will be on new teams that gave them a ridiculous wad of money. Other than that, everything is hazy and unclear. So, I hoped to clear things up a bit by bringing out my crystal ball and making some predictions for the new season. (The glorious thing about predictions? They don't have to be right. In fact, they don't even have to be close to being correct.)\n• Cubs fans will be left crying in their Old Style for the 92nd consecutive year, as the Cubbies will fail to win the World Series. But Wrigley Field will be packed, so management won't care.\n• A-Rod won't be worth the money the Rangers paid for him, unless he bats .500, hits 60 home runs, drives in 200 runs, commits less than five errors and leads them to the World Series.\n• This might be going out on a limb, but Pedro Martinez will win the AL Cy Young Award.\n• The Red Sox will see their Wild Card hopes tumble down on the last day of the season when Rod Beck blows an 8-run lead in the bottom of the ninth in Detroit.\n• No one in baseball will grow a cooler beard than the White Sox David Wells.\n• Sleeper AL MVP contenders: White Sox Magglio Ordonez, Angels' Darin Erstad, Blue Jays Carlos Delgado and Jason Giambi of the Athletics.\n• Mike Hampton will have the best ERA in Colorado Rockies history.\n• Pittsburgh's PNC Park and Milwaukee's Miller Park will account for an attendance increase for both teams. No park will ever be named for anything besides a corporation in the future.\n• With Geoff Jenkins, Richie Sexson and Jeromy Burnitz in the lineup, Bernie the Brewer will frequently take a slide into his giant beer mug after Brewers home runs.\n• The Expos' Vladimir Guerrero should end the season as NL MVP.\n• In an effort to raise fan interest, the Expos will sign their mascot, Youppi, to play first base.\n• People will wonder why the Tampa Bay Devil Rays exist.\n• The Florida Marlins will be the most improved team in baseball, but they will still miss the playoffs.\n• The Cleveland Indians will score about seven runs a game and will give up just as many.\n• Darryl Strawberry will spend the season in jail or rehab.\n• Terminally serious Angels slugger Glenallen Hill will not be caught smiling on camera the entire season.\n• Mark McGwire will hit more home runs than San Diego's Bubba Trammel.\n• Former Cubs outfielder Doug Dascenzo will come out of retirement to work in the bullpen.\n• Former Cubs catcher Hector Villanueva will be found working at a McDonald's in Pocatello, Idaho.\n• In an attempt to force fans to stop watching TV and start attending games, the Minnesota Twins will hire Bill Walton as their play-by-play announcer.\n• Newly retired Albert Belle will be suspended from his shuffleboard league for corking his pole and will be arrested for chasing down senior citizens in his golf cart on Labor Day.\n• The Yankees will end up trying Chuck Knoblauch at every position, including pitcher, before they finally give up on him and trade him for … Cardinals pitcher Rick Ankiel. Ankiel will walk the first seven men he faces in his Yankees debut and then strike out the side.\n• And finally, the Yankees will buy their fourth consecutive World Series title.