What I did during winter break

God bless the United States of America! Or, for those who don't believe in God, may the Force bless the USA! I must say this winter break enlightened me to a plethora of American legal proceedings that left me both intrigued and bewildered.\nThursday, Dec. 14, I was set to leave for home. But all was lost when my car was hit at the corner of Ninth and Dunn streets on my way to work. \nYes, I'm fine (so stop worrying). But, the best part was that it was not my fault! I got the cash hook-up, but it meant dealing with the insurance companies. My advice to those who suffer the same fate with their cars is to never accept a first offer; be stern, and tell them you have the lawyer from the law offices of Keller & Keller, even if you don't.\nWith my car all disheveled, the issue of buying a new car surfaced -- something I've never done. To my chagrin, I was denied a loan by four establishments, but the fifth was smart enough to give me a loan without a co-signer. I am now establishing credit and not driving a POS!\nThen, Dec. 20, I became a juror for the first time in my life. I went to the jury pool at the City-County building in Indianapolis and was called and finally selected to be on a six-member jury in a criminal recklessness case.\nIf anyone has ever read or seen "Twelve Angry Men," it was almost exactly like that. But there weren't only men on the jury, there were only six of us, and it wasn't a murder trial. But still. The whole thing was almost comical because everyone took it so seriously. \nAfter it was over, the lawyers and the bailiff told us that if we'd just thrown away our jury pool cards and not come, they wouldn't have done anything about it. Misdemeanor my petunia! Oh well, I made $40. Speaking of which, I still don't have my check.\nI won't bore my faithful readers by pontificating about my wild and crazy New Year's celebration, but I must say I thank my friend Alex Miller for creating freak dancing to the music of "Baby got back," which I shall demonstrate in a more intoxicated state (only 40 more days!).\nBut, on the New Year's tangent, Jan. 2, my mother called to tell me all of the computers at HP products (toilet paper), where she works, were down.\nTold you so.\nIt always seems the world is in check with itself, and this goes for people as well. If too much good comes to us, something bad happens to balance it out, and vice versa. Perhaps that is why people with money never seem happy. This is the only explanation I can come up with for the next winter break issue.\nOur new century and millennium have finally begun. I am now scared for my life because of the most important of U.S. affairs that occurred during break: "W" is now the president-elect. \nThough I am not a political columnist, I can only wonder why he thinks a $1.3 trillion tax cut will help the nation. For some reason, I thought one needed income to make a budget. And the former superintendent of schools from Houston as secretary of education? I won't even mention the horror of John Ashcroft.\nAll I can say about "W" is that he's the President Dan Quayle we never had.\nSo, the semester, year and century begin with uncertainties, checks and balances, new cars, new classes, old friends and hopefully a little bit more sechel. May the Force help the White House!