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(11/09/07 1:11am)
For almost all television fans – not just die-hards that get jacked for up-fronts – the worst has officially happened. As of 12:01 this past Monday morning, the Writers Guild of America is on strike against the major studios and producers, halting new script production on most shows. The writers have demanded larger residuals on DVD sales and a pay system for the creation of “media items” such as online content.\nThe problem is, I don’t think everyone knows about this catastrophe, or if they do know, they’re not sure exactly what it means. And while this news is disheartening on the surface, the situation is about to get much, much worse.\nFirst, the writers’ choice to strike – which is a valid one – has permitted the programs to have only a limited number of episodes already shot for subsequent weeks. Only a handful have aired, and most shows – like “Heroes” or “Desperate Housewives” – have only 11 or 12 episodes finished, meaning that the networks will only be able to air new scripted programming until Christmas.\nObviously, it’s good that audiences will still have their favorite shows around for a bit longer while the writers behind them spend time chanting, “Network bosses, rich and rude, we don’t like your attitude.” However, if the strike continues after the holidays – a time when most shows take a break – audiences tuning in for new episodes will be met with television poison: reality shows. If you think “The Singing Bee” or “Nashville” were bad, just wait for the junk the networks will trot out in 2008. \nThe only bright light in that situation would be midseason returners and replacements such as “Lost,” or “24,” which have been shooting since the summer, backlogging at least eight episodes. But those shows’ scribes have stopped as well; by March there would be no new scripted shows left on television. \nSecond, the strike will not only affect audiences, but the shows themselves as well. Without scripts to produce, some staff and crew could be laid off, and some shows cancelled completely. Struggling new shows such as “Journeyman” or “Carpoolers” that have yet receive a full season pickup could just as easily be scrapped because the strike will destroy their audiences. The “Heroes” spin-off “Origins” has already been scrapped . Also, the creation of new pilots – which begins to vamp up after the holidays – will suffer massively, meaning the fall 2008 TV season could also be chockfull of awful programming. \nWhile it appears the strike will continue for an significant period of time – a story in Wednesday’s Variety magazine suggests it “could easily bleed into the middle of next year” – there is a faint glimmer of hope remaining. And while the effects won’t be seen as quickly in film, the strike could become a problem in that medium as well, leaving entertainment audiences with virtually nothing original to turn to. Guess that means we are actually going to have to entertain ourselves or get outside and exercise. WGA, producers, please don’t let it come to that.
(11/08/07 5:00am)
What the hell is there to say about the train wreck that is Britney Spears that hasn't already been said? There's no use wasting time gabbing about her exploits, terrible mothering skills or that jaw-droppingly dreadful performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. The good news for Britney fans is that she's finally back with her first album of all new material since 2003's In the Zone. However, the bad news is that Blackout isn't good enough to erase most of the insane things she's done in the last few years. \nBlackout features the most dance tracks a Britney album has ever had. Each song has some pretty good production, and a few even have interesting beats. "Piece of Me" is easily the strongest track, starting with the almost-too-perfect sound effects of some major moans and "oh yeahs." The beat in "Piece of Me" is a bit slower than most of the tracks, but it changes throughout, giving it a somewhat unique flavor.\nEven more surprising are the lyrics, which aren't good but are relevant: "I'm Mrs. 'Lifestyles of the rich and famous' / I'm Mrs. 'Oh my god that Britney's shameless.'" But right when you think the song actually features personal lyrics, you look to find that she didn't write one damn line of it. The good news, however, is that some 40-year-old man understands how tough it is to be a tabloid slut. \nMost of the other tracks, such as the lead single "Gimme More," "Radar" and "Hot As Ice" are definitely passable as dance-club joints. "Hot As Ice" includes some laser-gun-esque production and a great, driving drum -- the perfect mix for any club jam. Of course, the lyrics are laughable: "I'm cool as fire baby / Hot as ice / If you've ever been to heaven baby this is twice as nice." \nThe major issue with Blackout's songs, even the decent ones, is that they all sound the same. Spears never strains herself vocally, staying in the same wheelhouse throughout. It's probably safe to assume that the top-notch production is masking some of her vocal issues. \nEven if you don't want to like any of the songs on Blackout because you hate Spears, there's a pretty good chance you'll find yourself nodding your head to at least a couple of them. It's not as bad as you might think -- probably only from lowered expectations -- but definitely not anything more than a lump of mediocre cuts that may only save Britney's career from suffering a permanent blackout.
(11/01/07 11:39pm)
As an extremely rabid fan of television, I will defend the major networks in any capacity, even when their actions are a bit sketchy. Recently, however, a few decisions have caused me to question exactly what the hell is going on with these bigwigs. \nMy frustrations primarily stem from the sudden outbursts of adaptations of “spin-offs.” In the last week, rumors have been abounding about two new spin-offs currently in development by FOX and NBC respectively. \nThe first is an offshoot of FOX’s “hit” “Prison Break.” Two problems exist with this idea: A) “Prison Break” more or less sucks; it “jumped the shark” after the first season, and it should have never gone past its initial 13 episodes; and B) the spin-off is reportedly centered upon an all- women’s prison.\nPeople are barely watching the original – down to 7.5 million average viewers this year – and the network is taking it off the air for four months once “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” debuts along side season seven of “24” in January, so it seems like a pointless property to invest an entire new series in. \nBut that’s FOX, always making terrible executive decisions – like canceling “Drive” or screwing over “The OC” – so this is nothing new. However, the second big spin-off and its source, coming from the Peacock network, are a bit more shocking: “The Office.” It’s true, NBC has “The Office II” simmering, where a brand-new character related to Scranton would be introduced sometime this spring.\nWhile “The Office” has become a huge hit over the past two years, it started really slowly, mostly because it was a remake of the British version. In that sense, this new show will be “The Office III,” which is taking the show into “CSI” territory, somewhere fans don’t want it to go. What’s worse is that the network is looking for a “name” actor to lead the show. “Office II” worked because Steve Carell was a somewhat-known funnyman who was able to work into the persona of Michael Scott and everyone else was an unknown. By starting the project with a big star, this could easily turn into “Back To You.” \nIt’s almost understandable – especially with the writer’s strike upon us – that the networks are looking for the surest thing they can get their grubby paws on. Moreover, the success of the “Grey’s Anatomy” spin-off, “Private Practice” has convinced the networks this is the way to go. But if these new programs are misses with audiences, it could easily damage the reputation of the original (or re-make in the case of “The Office”) and fracture the entire fan base. \nObviously, these actions are part of something more than a few occasional occurrences where there is a lack of creativity in the network system, but that’s never going to change. If these offshoots are handled with the utmost care and are only created if they believe the quality to be at least as good as their parent shows, go with it. At the least, maybe these spin-offs help cease the televising of reality shows.
(11/01/07 4:00am)
Say Anything's quirky brand of emo-pop on …Is a Real Boy was a substantial success and vocalist Max Bemis' battle with bipolar disorder has been the topic of enough interviews, garnering them a lot of buzz in the process. And although he seems to be better, Bemis' condition didn't have much negative effect on Say Anything's new album, In Defense of the Genre. \nDefense is a 27-track, double-disc album that includes extreme diversity throughout; there are emo-pop songs, straight-up rock songs, and even a few ballads. On a basic level, it is a concept album about falling in love (disc one) and then losing that love (disc two).\n"Shiska (Girlfriend)" is one of the more obvious upbeat tracks, and is a perfect emo-pop song. It features technically sound guitar work and a bit of Parker Case's excellent synth work. Of course, Bemis' oddball lyrics are present: "Even if you stomp me 'til I'm sore / No matter what, I'll bleed to be your whore."\nThe best addition to SA's sound is the aforementioned synth and key work by Case, which shines on "Baby Girl, I'm A Blur." The nearly entirely electronic single features subtle guitar work, but a stinging drum beat that adds another layer to the band's sound. \nThe songs on the second half of Defense are a bit more diverse than the first, and more lyrically ferocious. The title track features driving guitars and attacking vocals from Bemis as he growls about the music industry: "Go tell the false friend who doubts your art / Hey, toss my caustic salad / Their noise pollution is a one-night stand / A closet corporate ballad."\nThe band also develops some strong mid-tempo songs like "Spores" and "Plea." Guitars initially lead in "Spores," but all the instruments fade in place of a surprisingly beautiful vocal from Bemis: "I still miss you more / I miss you more than I ever did before you left your spores inside."\nDefense also features a shocking 23 guest vocalists/ musicians including Pete Yorn, Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance and Hayley Williams of Paramore. Some of the guest spots are hard to catch, but many of them add something to the songs. \nIn Defense of the Genre is an album that requires a huge investment, but once you listen to it all straight through a few times, the fluidity of the concept really materializes. Say Anything is one of the best bands in the genre and they've defended it very well with easily one of the best albums of 2007.
(11/01/07 4:00am)
Most people only know of Cobra Starship because of their uber-catchy "Snakes On A Plane (Bring It)" from the cult-favorite film by the same title. At the time that song and the rest of their debut album While The City Sleeps, We Rule The Streets was recorded, Cobra was solely comprised of ex-Midtown vocalist/bassist Gabe Saporta. While the debut was solid, it wasn't much more than a guilty pleasure. Luckily, Saporta surrounded himself with a full band to tour and now they've come together to record their follow up, ¡Viva La Cobra!\nCobra has made tremendous strides with their sound on Viva. On the debut, the production was nothing but Saporta and his digital beats, but here the use of a band has vastly strengthened the musical aspects, especially the drums and guitars. \nThis is most present on the aptly-titled single, "Guilty Pleasure," which features a guitar riff that could easily come from one of Cobra's buddies like Fall Out Boy. It also includes an extremely strong vocal from Saporta, the self-proclaimed "Justin Timberlake of emo," as he sings "I came here to make you dance tonight / I don't care if I'm a guilty pleasure for you." No chorus could explain Cobra better.\nWith Viva, the band also explores new territory by including two songs that almost pass for ballads: "One Day Robots Will Cry" and "The World Has Its Shine (But I Would Drop It On A Dime)." The latter, with its synth subdued, sounds like something out of an old Nintendo game, but the guitar solo allows it to rock harder than Cobra has before. It's pure power-ballad goodness.\nBut really, the album is all about the party. In addition to "Guilty Pleasure," there are at least six other tracks that are full-fledged dance jams. The strongest of the lot are "My Moves Are White (White Hot, That Is)" and "Smile For The Paparazzi." None of the cuts feature any lyrics that are going to be remembered for quality, and some are borderline retarded, but they're damn catchy. \nThe tracks on ¡Viva La Cobra! should be placed on anyone's dance-party playlists because they flat out ooze sex and machismo. Cobra Starship will never be considered anything but a fun escape for fans, but because they've completely embraced that role, their brand of dance-punk continues to improve, and Saporta's goal of becoming the JT of emo doesn't seem too far fetched.
(10/25/07 11:41pm)
After listening to new releases from Say Anything, Cobra Starship and Coheed and Cambria this week, I couldn’t help but revel in the sheer awesomeness of new music that October has brought for punk/emo/not-quite-indie fans. October has brought even more great new albums to the absolutepunk.net sort than chubby girls in sexy cop/nurse/pirate costumes. Aside from the above, new records by Thrice, Jimmy Eat World, Saves The Day and Thursday will be released before Thursday.\nI started to contemplate the origins of my love for these genres. I’ve spent the last few days thinking and decided the best way for anyone to retrace his musical-affection lineage is “gateway records” – those that created such an awe-inspiring experience that led to someone’s genre of choice. \nHere are my top three:\nBlink 182, “Enema of the State” – For any “emo kid” in my demographic, this has to be one of the albums that started it all. This was Blink’s first big mainstream success, and to a sixth-grade me who had listened solely to the radio, it was the greatest thing ever. The chords are simple, the lyrics are relatable and the videos are hilarious. I’ve listened to this album so much that I believe I’ve had at least three copies of it, and many of its tracks still make it onto my play lists. “Enema” was the first time I had really heard the words pop-punk, and little did I know that it would become my favorite type of music.\nBrand New, “Deja Entendu” – If “Enema” birthed millions of emo kids, then Brand New’s masterpiece was the catalyst for our maturity. “Deja” saw BN revolutionize their sound, as they went from pop-punk to indie. The lyrics are clever and witty, yet just relatable enough for the growing intellect of a high school sophomore. Each time I listen now, I can still remember exactly what I was doing when I first listened; every song leads to a special story. By the time “Deja” was released, I was still just listening to pop-punk like The Starting Line or Midtown. But after this, I sought more mature, diverse music that I could now relate to as well. \nFall Out Boy, “Take This To Your Grave” – Even though “Deja” extended my tastes in 2003, I was still interested in pop-punk when I stumbled upon a band from Chicago on purevolume.com, and for some reason, Fall Out Boy’s simple emo just stuck with me. “Grave” was like the new “Enema,” only with more bite. But I think I’ll remember it more for what it did for my interest in music, because after finding FOB online, I spent more time searching the Internet to find new bands, something I’ve continued to do. “Grave” made FOB my favorite band and made me want to be a music journalist. It really was a gateway drug. Now I’m addicted to music.\nThis is my musical lineage. Ever thought about yours? If not, take some time, figure out what music changed your life and maybe revisit the albums again if you’ve lost touch.
(10/25/07 4:00am)
After leading the post-hardcore movement earlier this decade, Thrice revamped its sound with 2005's Vheissu, an experimental record of sorts. Now the band has extended its boundaries even further with The Alchemy Index, which is divided into four, six-song albums each with its own theme: Fire, Water, Earth, Air. The first two that have been released are Fire and Water, and Thrice has proven that its experimentation keeps improving.\nFor each element, Thrice has created a specific sound. On Fire, the band revisits some of its heavier moments, but not quite in the same vein as pre-Vheissu. Fire's opener "Firebreather" features ferocious baritone guitars that drive the track until it completely switches gears into gang vocals that cue into just how epic this project is.\n"Backdraft" is led by interesting guitar work laid over Dustin Kensrue's distorted vocals, which lead into an explosive chorus. The song changes directions in the bridge again, as Kensrue whispers, "Show me your jaded eyes / I will turn them red / Drunk with vivid flame."\nAs good as Fire is, Water is even better. The album has digital sounds and synthesized drums, elements Thrice has never before included in its music. "Digital Sea" is the most digital, and the synthesized drums paired with Kensrue's subdued voice are perfect for each other.\n"Open Water" is one of the best songs Thrice has ever done and certainly the best so far on Index. Kensrue dials down the vocals in the verses as the synthesized drums lead, but once the chorus begins, his vocals soar. It's haunting and beautiful at the same time, as he belts, "I'm starting to believe the ocean's much like you / Because it gives / And takes away." Thrice weaves thematic elements of fire and water in the tracks very well. Each song title and the lyrics relate to the theme, but they never get to a point where the band is trying too hard. Musical symbolism is apparent on both: Fire's tracks soar to a maximum point and spread, much like a fire; Water's songs drag on and flow as water would.\nThese records were a huge risk for Thrice, but the first half of Alchemy Index is a massive creative triumph. Spring will bring the other half, and only then will the entire project's impact be understood. The way it looks so far, though, is that Thrice has the correct formula for success.
(10/25/07 4:00am)
Jimmy Eat World is one of those bands that seamlessly went from releasing indie favorites to NOW!-compilation-sized hits. After breaking into the mainstream in 2001 with "The Middle" from Bleed American, Jimmy has never looked back. 2004 brought Futures, a darker album than its predecessor, but one that scored just as well. Three years later, the band is back with Chase This Light, and they've delivered yet again.\nOn Chase, Jimmy has combined the fun, pop-stylized sounds of Bleed and the serious moods of Futures, and it works very well. The album opener and lead single "Big Casino" features huge hooks and a massive jolt of energy as frontman Jim Adkins sings "Get up, Get up / Turn on ignition / Get up, Get up / Fire up the system." It's a great choice for a lead single and should be another "The Middle," but other tracks seem even more primed for radio.\nWith "Let It Happen," the band returns to melodies heard on Futures, but once the chorus kicks in, it's like a digital sugar rush directly to your ears. The lyrics "Talk, talking a lot / But it's all talk / Say whatever you want / 'Cause I can laugh it off" aren't spellbinding, but they'll be in your head for days after hearing them.\nThe middle of the record shows Chase isn't all soaring melodies. "Carry You" finds Jimmy more subdued, much like on Futures, but no less effective. The acoustically powered track hits its stride with the bridge as Adkins' vocals build into his patented dual-vocals-with-himself move, where he croons, "Slap my face just to feel / Just to feel you there again."\nThe record's only misstep occurs with the wispy ballad "Gotta Be Somebody's Blues." The track includes brooding vocals that don't connect with the rest of the album, and it moves at a slow pace.\nJimmy delivers on every release, and whether or not you admit to liking pop music, it's impossible not to enjoy this band. Chase is an excellent addition to the Jimmy Eat World catalog and one of the most enjoyable releases of the year.
(10/19/07 1:21am)
One of the most important moments of my childhood was when I saw “Terminator 2.” Many might have found it too graphic for someone my age to be watching, but I couldn’t have cared less. I had all the action figures, including a huge talking T-101, the character Arnold Schwarzenegger made famous. The character, in all its bloody, half-man half-machine glory, was on my 5th birthday cake. \nThe Terminator saga has been an obsession of mine for a long time. I use the word “saga” because I believe the films to be so epic that the word “series” doesn’t deliver them justice. So my eyes widened last week when it was announced that the fourth film that sets up a new trilogy of films dealing with the future war is set to being production. Then I read further to find that McG is in talks to direct and Vin Diesel is in talks to star. \nAfter a short rage blackout, I calmed down, really thought about it and came to a shocking conclusion: I think it can work.\nThe diehards are going to have to get over the fact that Rick Pitino, Schwarzenegger or James Cameron “(are) not walking through that door.” The Governator is busy trying to amend the Constitution and J.C. is in preproduction on a movie about cats in the future. For many, even “T3” was a letdown, so how do the producers expect audiences to accept this?\nI assume they’ve been working on a scenario without Arnie since the last film ended. “T3” did a marvelous job of getting to what people have been waiting for since 1984: the war between humans and machines. There doesn’t have to be a Terminator that looks like Arnold; the Terminators can be the endoskeletons seen previously. Save money in the budget for effects. The fans want to see two things: John Connor becoming a badass, and at least 65 minutes of Terminators blowing up the world.\nNeither of the talents attached are inspiring, but this film doesn’t need them to be. McG works for “T4” because he’s a decent director – not Cameron-good by any means, but good enough. This film only needs someone to point and shoot the action. Diesel needs something to jump-start his career, so why shouldn’t he take that action-film throne of Arnie’s like everyone said he was going to a few years back? Diesel gets a lot of flack, but the man’s acting talents are underrated and he has a presence on screen. \nThe thing that will be most influential to the success of this film is the script. The guys who wrote “T3” are writing this one, and although it had some rough parts, they made up for it with the ending. They wrote John Connor really well, and if they continue to do that, as well as flesh out some new characters, they’ll be on their way. The action writes itself; it’s the quieter moments that made the first and second films so amazing. \nIf “T4” doesn’t deliver on the aforementioned, it will sadly confirm what many said after the third film: “Hasta la vista.”
(10/18/07 4:00am)
here are some films that, after you see the trailer, you get giddy about its release and tell all your friends it's going to be excellent. Then when the film finally comes out, it completely blows. All the hopes and dreams you had for it are destroyed, and you're pissed. "We Own The Night" is one of those films.\nBobby Green (Joaquin Phoenix) is running a New York nightclub when he learns that an NYPD unit led by his brother Joseph (Mark Wahlberg) and father Burt (Robert Duvall) is looking into a drug ring in his club. After a tragic accident, Bobby decides to help out the department in its search for the dealer.\n"We Own The Night" is the slowest-moving film I've seen in a long time. Its running time is just more than two hours, but it feels like it lasts four. Numerous scenes seem to be thrown in for no apparent reason, including the excruciating scene at a church where we have to watch an entire police force's complete prayer. \nThe story line is legitimate, but it's pissed away in the final act because of ignorant plot leaps. Bobby has no police experience and is coked out of his mind for the first half of the film, but when it's time to get drug dealer Nezhinski (Alex Veadov), he's allowed to become a cop because "he has information" and as long as he promises he will go to the academy later. Oh, Bobby then gets to lead the SWAT team in its capture of Nezhinski.\nPhoenix is good as Bobby, but Duvall and Wahlberg are phoning in and don't have much to do. Eva Mendes' character, as usual, exists only as eye candy. \n"We Own The Night" is much like a bad episode of "NYPD Blue" or any other crime drama. The story moves entirely too slow, and whatever goodwill is built up through the first half is negated with an unbelievable final 30 minutes.
(10/12/07 3:20am)
The 33rd season of “Saturday Night Live” began two weeks ago with very high hopes. After arguably some of the worst years in the show’s history, “SNL” finally turned funny last season. The great stable of cast members came together with tremendous recurring characters – The Two A-Holes, MacGruber, Penelope – and the always-hilarious digital shorts.\nNothing changed, so “SNL” should have hit the ground running this year. If the first two episodes of this season are signs of what’s to come, audiences are in for more unintentional comedy than an episode of “CSI: Miami.” It’s not as bad as the Chris Elliott and Jim Breuer years of the 1990s, but any more of this and we’re going to ask for Goat Boy.\nLeBron James hosting the premiere was the show’s first mistake. His monologue was a direct rip-off of “The LeBrons” commercials that got him the job in the first place. It’s pathetic that the writers couldn’t come up with anything better to open the season. Throughout the episode, James never stepped outside the limits of his own persona and was utterly boring. \nThankfully, the hilarious Seth Rogen hosted episode two. Wait, did he? Rogen was hardly in enough sketches and didn’t do jack in the ones he was in, aside from “Douchebag 2007.” Why have hosts if they’re going to be used less than Tim Meadows was in the late ’90s?\nWeekend Update needs to be retooled big time. Seth Meyers is not and has never been funny, which only makes the somewhat funny Amy Poehler seem worse because the two don’t have any chemistry. The Mahmoud Ahmadinejad spot fell flat because only 10 minutes previously they did the “Iran So Far Away” digital short. We get it: He’s a homosexual because he doesn’t believe in homosexuals. Chevy Chase’s appearance was cool, but there’s a reason Chase rarely has a job: He hasn’t been funny since 1990. \nDon’t forget how off the mark most of the sketches have been. Some of them, such as the “High School Musical 3” spot, had a lot of potential, but they were pissed away by more bad writing. The performances have been solid, but a lot of the jokes have been too flat, which falls on Meyers, who just happens to be head writer, and his staff.\nThere is good news. This is a strong cast – Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader, Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis and Fred Armisen especially – and some of the sketches have worked. And obviously, “Iran So Far Away” continued the run of excellent digital shorts.\nThe writers need to get their heads out of their asses and create more sketches for the great performers. Put the duos of Wiig-Sudeikis and Armisen-Samberg together more often because when they’re together, it’s magic. Try to keep Maya Rudolph away from the screen. Give Hader or Sudeikis a shot at anchoring Weekend Update. If this happens, the 33rd season will live up to the hype and usher in the fourth golden era of “SNL,” joining the casts from the original season, the early ’90s and the early 2000s as the best ensembles in the show’s history.
(10/11/07 4:00am)
Dashboard Confessional burst onto the mainstream music scene in late 2001 with "Screaming Infidelities" and helped usher in the emo movement. At that time, Dashboard wasn't much more than Chris Carrabba and an acoustic guitar. Since then, it has matured into a full band that churns out adult-contemporary radio hits, including last year's "Stolen." Many of the band's oldest fans pleaded for Carrabba to return to his intimate acoustic roots, and early this year he did just that by secretly recording The Shade of Poison Trees. While the entire band plays on Shade, it's definitely a retro release. Whether or not it's enjoyable depends on which Dashboard the listener prefers. \nIf you're looking for classic Dashboard, "Little Bombs" and "Keep Watch for the Mines" are the best songs to begin with. Each has the acoustic vigor that quickly transports the listener back to 2002. Carrabba plays the guitar so hard his fingers could be bleeding at the end, and his vocals soar higher than most of the songs from Dusk and Summer.\nHowever, some of the songs that try to recapture the magic fail miserably. "Fever Dreams" has good guitar work, but half-assed lyrics such as "Fever dreams / They can only haunt you / 'Til the fever breaks," make you want to hit skip instantly. "Matters of Blood and Connection" is a two-and-a-half minute diatribe about rich kids, which raises the question of whether Carrabba has really grown up at all. \nOddly, the song that strays away from the rest, "The Rush," is the strongest on the record. Don Gilmore's production allows every little twitch and twinkle to be heard, and the entire band shines because of it. When Carrabba gushes "And I'll know I'm alive / Give me some teeth / Give me something/ Unforgettable" for the last minute of the song, you can easily picture it playing at the end of any MTV show about bleached blondes near the beach, but it also demonstrates that there's a reason Dashboard is a full band now: They're better that way.\nThe Shade of Poison Trees will be heralded by people in their early 20s because it will remind them of the time they listened to "Screaming Infidelities" after their crush wouldn't dance with them in eighth grade. And while there are a handful of tracks here that do allow for some reminiscing, the record as a whole is a cheap step backward that exists only so Carrabba can immaturely whine instead of write good songs. Maybe Dusk and Summer wasn't his best effort, but at least it showed a maturation process that Shade completely negates. It's time that Carrabba and his fans grew up.
(10/05/07 12:02am)
All that matters in television is ratings. There are shows that don’t get a fair shake from their networks because they lack the ability to draw in a certain demographic. They’re usually cancelled when they “underperform,” or worse, dumped into an awful time slot that all but guarantees the shows a slow, painful death.\nA show currently in this situation is “Friday Night Lights.” It struggled to find a wide audience in three different time slots last year, and now it’s been moved to Friday. Although this fits with its title, it should sound an alarm bell for the show’s fans, since Friday is the black hole of TV. “FNL” is widely praised by critics and fans alike, so what gives? It’s the best show you’re not watching.\nFirst of all, “FNL” features some of the best acting on prime-time television. It all starts with Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton, who play Coach Taylor and Mrs. Coach Taylor. Their chemistry leads you to believe they really are married, and they have conversations that you can imagine people in their situations – even your own parents – would. Moreover, Zach Gilford, Taylor Kitsch and Gaius Charles supersede any of the high-school football jock-stereotypes audiences have seen time and time again. It’s too easy to get wrapped up in all the characters’ lives and really emote for them.\nThis show is also the best in a few technical aspects that go into making a great program. The camera work is nothing short of breathtaking. The crew follows the actors within a real location – no constructed sets – and there’s no blocking of the scene. Instead of typical angles, we get fluid, organic movement.\nThe thing about “FNL” is that most people think it’s about football. Well, it is, but it isn’t. In reality, the football games themselves are solely backdrops to extend the conflicts that are going on with the people in Dillion, Texas. Games were shown in less than half of season one.\nThe story lines focus on the characters’ relationships, and they’re not cliche. Those that seem that they would be – Saracen’s dad in Iraq, Street’s career-ending injury – are well-done because the characters act their age. No dialogue from a thesaurus, no pop culture-laced quips. Although the plot is not revolutionary, it works great.\nWhile not without its flaws, “Friday Night Lights” is one of the top five shows on television right now, and it’s exactly what anyone would want in a show. The producers pulled out all the stops to keep it on the air – a money-back guarantee on the DVD, episodes online for free – and if people take advantage of these, it will stay around. \nBecause of the network’s obsession with ratings, quality programs get axed before they can ever find their audience. They are only facilitating the cycle by doing this because cancelling good shows and replacing them with bad ones that do get good ratings has made the general audience complacent. They expect junk, and when they get something actually worthwhile, they aren’t sure how to react, so no one watches, the show gets cancelled and then “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” replaces it. Check out “Friday Night Lights” so it can avoid being another ratings casualty and become the best show everyone is watching.
(10/04/07 4:00am)
In the post-9/11 world, not many movies have used radical Middle Eastern terrorists like those in "True Lies." Actor-turned-director Peter Berg ("Friday Night Lights") decided that it's been long enough and the time has come to see Americans getting revenge on the radical Muslim community, so he's given us "The Kingdom." Sit back and enjoy the destruction.\nA terrorist cell sets off a bomb during a softball game full of American workers in Saudi Arabia, a.k.a., The Kingdom. FBI agent Francis Manner (Kyle Chandler) is assigned to help with the relief efforts and calls friend and fellow agent Ron Fleury (Jamie Foxx) to tell him about the damage. Then a second bomb goes off, killing Manner and many more. \nWhen he is told he cannot go to The Kingdom, Fleury maneuvers around protocol, leverages some Saudi officials and gets his crew -- bomb expert Grant Sykes (Chris Cooper), forensics analyst Janet Mayes (Jennifer Garner) and technical guru Adam Leavitt (Jason Bateman) -- to tag along. Once in The Kingdom, the special unit works with Colonel Faris Al Ghazi (Ashraf Barhorn) to solve the crime.\nWhile the plot is simple, nearly everything in this film works. If you don't know much about Saudi Arabia, the inventive opening credits give a 75-year timeline of the changes there, and it's actually informative as a "Saudi Arabia for Dummies" guide.\nThe performances are surprisingly solid. Although the four leads are playing the types of characters they've played before, here they do them a bit better. Foxx's character isn't ranting the entire film, and his relationship with Barhorn's Faris comprises the best non-action scenes. Barhorn's performance as the Saudi colonel is easily the best of the film.\n"The Kingdom" is also surprisingly emotional. Although many of the emotional scenes are borderline cheesy, they come off sucessfully because of the natural camera work and the excellent score, both of which are becoming Berg's go-to moves that he perfected in the world of "Friday Night Lights."\n"The Kingdom" shouldn't be as good as it is. It's a simple action-revenge flick with lofty Middle Eastern terrorist vibes that should make you feel a bit dumb for liking it so much. But everything is done so well and it's so undeniably entertaining that it's almost impossible not to enjoy it.
(09/28/07 1:10am)
One of the most popular facets of the DC Comics world is the Justice League of America, which features major superheroes Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash and others teaming up to fight evil. While Superman and Batman have had their time on film, many fans have dreamed of the day that a Justice League movie would come to fruition.\nLuckily, over the summer a script surfaced and the JLA film suddenly had legs. Ever since, there’s been rampant speculation online that has been fueled even more with the leaking of information. But the one thing that’s most important about this movie is that it cannot suck. DC can’t afford it, the fans can’t afford it and WB can’t afford it.\nHiring George Miller (“Happy Feet”) to direct was a step in the right direction. He’s eager to tackle something on such a grand scale as this. But what really matters is which actors are going to bring the immortal characters to life. Early news said that Christian Bale and Brandon Routh, who currently play Batman and Superman in stand-alone films, will not be a part of “JLA.” At first this seemed awful, but in the end it will pay off, because Bale’s Batman is too serious and Routh can’t act. \nRumors popped up that Tom Welling, who plays young Clark Kent on “Smallville,” was approached to continue to do so in the film. Even though the rumors died, Welling has long been a perfect candidate since today’s audiences know him as Clark. \nMonday it was announced that Jessica Biel was in talks to play Wonder Woman, the first big-star rumor to surface. Biel proved she could handle the action in “Blade: Trinity,” but it’s risky to cast stars because it’s hard to suspend belief that they aren’t playing themselves in a costume (see: George Clooney as Batman).\nThen someone claiming to have read the script released a heap of spoilers online. Noted is the list of heroes: all those previously mentioned plus Green Lantern and Martian Manhunter (Where the hell is Aquaman?). Also, don’t forget that no comic book film has ever been able to succeed with more than a few heroes; six or seven will be a major challenge.\nSupposedly the plot comes directly from the comics, and one hero will “go bad.” Great, but it’s odd to ignore the origin story and instead start with everyone already together. Looks like WB wants to make a superhero flick with tons of action that will spawn new franchises, and that means quality could suffer.\nAnother issue facing this film is that it starts shooting in February, just in time to avoid the strike planned for next summer. It has developed faster than a speeding bullet, and finishing it in just four months is another huge risk.\n“JLA” is going to be the most important comic book film to date. If it’s screwed up, the backlash will be so enormous that DC characters could become box office kryptonite. As of now, it’s on the right track, but if there are any rubber nipple suits, no one will be able to save it. Not even a superhero.
(09/27/07 4:00am)
Dane Cook has arguably become the most popular comedian around. His first leading role in last year's "Employee of the Month" failed to let the Dane train leave the station by constraining him within an awful script. Now he's back with the R-rated "Good Luck Chuck." Sadly, the R-rating doesn't capitalize on Cook's vulgar stand-up persona.\nCook plays Charlie "Chuck" Logan, who is hexed during a childhood "7 Minutes in Heaven" game gone awry and discovers that the women he sleeps with find love with the next guy they meet. In the present, Charlie is a dentist who can't seem to say the L-word. When he attends the wedding of a girl he dated just six months previously, and the bride thanks him for being a lucky charm, Chuck notices women start to come on to him more often. At the wedding, he meets quirky penguin-keeper Cam (Jessica Alba), a walking accident of a woman, and falls for her.\nThe plot of "Good Luck Chuck" fails miserably, and the curse seems to exist only so Cook can bed tons of topless women and display myriads of weird sex positions with them, an exploitation of the R-rating. The script uses the "Deuce Bigalow"-esque cliche of making the lead sleep with a fat lady not once, but twice. When Chuck figures out the curse is real and attempts to break it, the solution is predictable.\nCook and Alba have on-screen chemistry, and some of their scenes are cute, but they never truly click, which is probably because neither could act themselves out of a paper bag. Alba pulls off slapstick a little better than I predicted (the penguin-feeding fiasco is painfully fantastic), but after a slew of jokes in the beginning, her clumsy characteristics are seemingly forgotten. The last 30 minutes of the movie, Alba all but disappears aside from Chuck spying on her, making sure she doesn't fall in love with someone else. \nThere are a few laugh-out-loud moments, but many more fall flat. Even with the R-rating, Cook doesn't show any glimpse of his impeccable joke-delivering stand-up greatness.\nWhile he is a stand-up master, Cook's comedy routine doesn't translate to the big screen, and the energy that fuels his stage performance is inexplicably absent. "Good Luck Chuck" is a movie to see if you're a fan of Cook or Alba or even penguins, but if you're looking for hilarious moments, you will be disappointed.
(09/27/07 4:00am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>n the next few weeks, the major networks will have premiered all their new shows. A few will be huge successes, while many will be off the air before Thanksgiving. Each of the networks will have ups and downs throughout the season, but it's almost impossible to guess what exactly will take place. However, I'm going to try. Here are seven things that (I think) will happen on television. Before you start watching fall TV this year, peep this sheet. With this knowledge, you'll be able to enjoy everything you need to and avoid almost anything on Fox.
1. Most of the new shows will be utter failures. This may happen for various reasons -- bad ratings, bad time slots, bad quality -- but it will happen. In today's television landscape, the shelf life of most shows is very short, and based on the previews for the new ones this year, that's not going change. Take one look at Fox's slate of new shows and you too will lose faith in network programming. "Nashville," "Kitchen Nightmares" and "K-Ville" look to be three of the worst shows this year.
2. NBC will continue to have quality programming that no one watches and remain in fourth place among the major networks. The Peacock has some of the best shows on TV -- "Heroes," "Friday Night Lights" and its entire Thursday night comedy block. However, the only shows it consistently had in the ratings top 20 last season were "Deal or No Deal" and its NFL coverage. New shows such as "Journeyman" and "Bionic Woman" look to be decent shows and could pull in more viewers, but it won't be enough to get the network back in the top three.
3. The CW will actually matter this year. Last year, the network that was created from the merger of UPN and WB failed to make any noise. It decided to carry over old shows, and "America's Next Top Model" was the only one that did as well as it had before the switch. However, this year the network has a strong group of new shows - "Reaper," "Gossip Girl" and "Aliens in America," all of which have a healthy amount of buzz attached to them and should do well.
4. Wednesday nights at 9 p.m. will become the chic time slot battle. Last year, Thursday night at 9 p.m. was the big ratings throw-down between "Grey's Anatomy," "CSI" and NBC's comedy lineup, but the same time Wednesday night is shaping up to be enthralling this year, too. Four networks are airing major shows then, hoping to win the night. Three newbies: "Bionic Woman," "Private Practice" and "Gossip Girl" are looking to dethrone last year's winner "Criminal Minds." Expect "Practice" to lead early, but "Minds" will retain throughout.
5. The two most underrated shows on TV, "Friday Night Lights" and "Supernatural," will gain more respect and viewers. "Supernatural" features the best chemistry between its lead actors Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, while the demon-hunting story line is a fresh one. The story line and emotions on "Friday Night Lights" are realistic and the characters are fleshed out -- rare traits for a sports program. Both of these shows have yet to find a wide audience but do have small, rabid fan bases. This year, that's going to change, as word-of-mouth will permit these shows to reach mass appeal.
6. "Chuck" will be the best new scripted show while "Moonlight" will be the worst. The NBC action-comedy "Chuck" will thrive as the lead-in for the network's biggest player, "Heroes," and it will be because of its excellent cast and crew. Josh Schwartz, who created "The O.C.," will lend his talents to this quirky show about a dork who has the entire government's intel downloaded into his head. Meanwhile, "Moonlight" will suck because it's a complete rehash of "Angel" and "Forever Knight." The show has also been plagued with creative issues, which is never a good sign.
7. The five other new shows to watch: "Pushing Daisies," "Bionic Woman," "Reaper," "Dirty Sexy Money" and "Journeyman." Five new shows to avoid at all costs: "Cavemen," "The Big Bang Theory," "Life," "Viva Laughlin" and "Nasvhille."
Bank on it.
(09/27/07 4:00am)
"Smallville"\nSEASON 7 PREMIERE: 8 p.m. Thursday, Sept. 27, on the CW\nSUMMARY: At the end of last season, the lives of many were hanging in the balance in typical "Smallville" fashion. Clark Kent (Tom Welling) was in the midst of battling the final zoner from the Phantom Zone, who had turned into a Bizarro version of himself. Meanwhile, Lana Lang (Kristen Kreuk) decided to end her marriage with Lex Luthor (Michael Rosenbaum), only to be blown up in an explosion, for which Lex took the fall. Lois Lane (Erica Durance) stumbled upon Lex's superfreak soldier laboratory, only to be killed in the process. Luckily, Chloe Sullivan's (Allison Mack) meteor-induced power -- healing tears -- was revealed, and when she cried it caused her to switch places with the dead Lois. \nPREDICTION: Clark's Kryptonian cousin Kara Kent, a.k.a., Supergirl (Laura Vandervoort), comes to Smallville, while his battle with Bizarro continues. Also expect Chloe and Lana to come back to life within the first two episodes and Lex to be out of jail even sooner. And maybe Clark will actually do some truly heroic things instead of pining over Lana.
(09/27/07 4:00am)
SEASON 4 PREMIERE: 9 p.m. Tuesday, Sept. 25, on Fox \nSUMMARY: In last season's finale, Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie) found himself alone, as the three core members of his team were gone by episode's end. First, Dr. Eric Foreman (Omar Epps) quit because he didn't want to become heartless like House, even when House asked him to stay. Then, after disagreeing with the good doctor, Dr. Robert Chase (Jesse Spencer) was fired on the spot. Finally, Dr. Allison Cameron (Jennifer Morrison) realized her feelings for Chase and quit out of loyalty to him. \nPREDICTION: We will get to see how House is coping on his own. Expect him to interview and train some new meat so he won't be bouncing ideas off the hospital janitor. Foreman, Chase and Cameron won't come back, at least for a while, and we'll get to see how they're living away from Dr. House.
(09/27/07 4:00am)
SEASON 7 PREMIERE: 9:30 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 25, on NBC\nSUMMARY: In the season six finale, J.D. (Zach Braff) allowed Kim (Elizabeth Banks) to move in with him so they could begin their life together and prepare for their child to be born. J.D. also learned about fatherhood from Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley), while Cox's daughter was baptized. Elliot (Sarah Chalke) prepared for her wedding. At the end of the episode, J.D. and Elliot found each other in the on-call room. The two talked about their past together and whether or not they were ready for the huge choices ahead of them. The cliffhanger saw the two leaning closer, possibly getting ready to kiss. \nPREDICTION: With this being the final season, expect J.D. and Elliot to finally figure out what they want out of life and actually be mature enough to obtain it. Also look for Turk (Donald Faison) and Carla (Judy Reyes) to struggle with more parental issues, Dr. Cox and J.D. to have more personal moments and the true name of Janitor (Neil Flynn) to be revealed.