Going through many friendships, from best friends to simply school friends, I’ve learned that while the friendship itself may not be forever, the memories are.
Recently, I grew apart from the best friends I had throughout high school. It’s hard not to be mad at all the reasons it ended, and to put the blame on these people for the loss of major friendships. However, I don’t like the idea of being on bad terms with them because these are still people I’d want to invite to my future wedding. They were there for me during vital years of my life and when I look back, I think of all the fun we had.
It’s important to not leave things on bad terms, because you never know if your paths will cross in the future. I think a large reason for these friendships ending is going different ways after high school — they all were staying close to home while I, on the other hand, was moving 3 hours away to attend IU. As we started down separate paths looking to build our own lives, our lives together no longer aligned as they had during the days we all shared a lunch period.
I don’t think holding a grudge is ever a good thing –– it holds you back. Holding a grudge is intentional and stops you from being able to move on. Believe me, it is so easy to hold onto this anger and hurt, but once you shed a few tears and move on, I find that I feel so much better in the end.
I was hurt immensely by this loss, so it’s hard to focus on the good, but I always try to overlook the bad the best I can. Obviously, I’m sad the friendship is over, but I’m also glad it is, too. I think losing these friends allowed me to grow as an individual. I had to learn to be comfortable with loneliness and to do things independently. You aren’t always going to have someone by your side at every moment. That’s just reality and having a sense of independence for yourself is just as important as having friends.
However, there is no point in regretting any past friendships. There isn’t one I look back on and truly regret. Bad decisions may have been made but, whatever the case may be, these people and the memories you made with them are the reason you are who you are today. The friendship already happened –– you can’t undo the past. So instead of regretting it, accept it.
It's very easy to just sit and mourn a lost friendship, and while that’s okay to do, I think moving on and just taking the memories with you is so important. I have many people I used to consider my best friends who I no longer consider my friends at all. Even though we are no longer close, I still find myself leaving them a special place in my heart.
While I’ve gone through countless emotions from the loss, I am forever grateful for the memories.
Faith Badgley (she/her) is a freshman studying media advertising.