After I realized host Jesse Palmer tricked us and put a two-night finale into one night, I finally finished it. Get ready for the most “dramatic finale in the history of The Bachelor.”
Jesse greeted us with a warm welcome to the three-hour-long live finale by saying, “anything can happen. It is live television.” I couldn’t be excited knowing I saw the entire finale spoiled by Reality Steve last week… It was my own fault.
Jesse then brings out Ariel — who was eliminated last week. As you may — or hopefully don’t — remember, last week Zach said he did not want to be intimate with any of the women; however, he was intimate with Gabi. Ariel tells Jesse she had no idea any of this happened and “found out with the rest of America.”
Surprise, surprise, Jesse brings out Zach to talk with Ariel. Ariel asks him why he never told her about what happened when he had ample time to share. Zach doesn’t really have a clear answer other than he feels regretful and apologizes. Ariel, sadly, accepts Zach’s apology.
As we head back to Thailand for the final shower scene of the season — hold back the tears if you can — Zach is left with his final two women: Gabi and Kaity.
Zach’s family is here to meet the two women, and after Zach accidentally pushes the door instead of pulling it, his family greets him with hugs.
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After Zach calls Gabi “cool,” Gabi meets Zach’s family. Gabi wants to sit Zach down and talk first because she feels like he regrets what they did last week. Zach said that is not the case and he loves her. Gabi said she fell more in love with him and truly feels strong in their relationship.
Then, Kaity has the opportunity to meet Zach’s family. During that time, Kaity is really emotional because his family literally keeps asking her what she would do if he sent her home. I swear his dad asks her and then two seconds later his sisters just happen to ask the same question. Anyways — despite the tears — Kaity said she felt so connected with his family and could see his dad being her dad.
Jesse — after he does his dramatic face and says “wow that was emotional” — lets us know that each of the women have one last date with Zach. Dramatic. Chills. This is the longest episode ever. Anyways… Kaity and Zach go on their final date through the jungle — how romantic. And after the quickest date ever, they head to the evening portion of their date where she expresses that she can open her heart again because of him and is so in love with him. After Zach wittily replies with “OK,” he talks about how challenging this has all been for him and how he is torn.
After some technical difficulties where the audio was cut for about five minutes, and we were quickly sent to a commercial, we jumped into Gabi and Zach’s date where they ride horses on the beach. Zach expresses to Gabi how he has an extremely difficult decision to make and is torn in both directions — probably not the smartest thing to share, Zach. Gabi talks about how she has a gut feeling it isn’t her. Going into the evening portion of the date, Gabi is looking for clarity, which Zach is somehow always able to bounce back and give. He expresses how he wouldn’t be here with her if he didn’t see a future.
For some reason, Jesse needs to bring out former Bachelor Sean Lowe to explain his process — even though we could just watch Zach’s process. But it is okay because then we saw a sneak peek preview of “The Kardashians” season three… yay!
It is finally the engagement day, and Gabi talks about how she has a gut feeling it isn’t her and when she is dropped off to meet Zach, she steps in mud and says, “When Kaity arrives — when this actually matters — don’t do that to her.” I literally felt so bad because she knew she was about to get broken up with even though Zach told her countless times he sees a future with her.
Related: [COLUMN: ‘The Bachelor’ week 8: double the trouble]
When Zach starts talking, it sounds quite hopeful for Gabi until he throws in the “but…” Gabi says to Zach, “Stop, I know what is about to happen. I’ve known and so have you.” Zach responds with “I didn’t know until last night lying in bed.” Literally what? That is so concerning for Kaity if he literally didn’t know until the night before.
After sending Gabi home, we cut back to the live studio where Jesse is with Gabi. Gabi expresses how she wants to be chosen first and how she feels violated the entire nation knows about what happened during overnights because Zach told her it would be private; however, she didn’t know until last week that he actually said her name to Kaity. When Zach comes out, Gabi says, “It was beyond a television show for me. I feel ashamed.” You tell him girl.
Finally, we are at the end of what seems like a seven-hour episode, Kaity steps out of the car — not in the mud — and at this point, after the Gabi situation, I am liking Zach less and less. Zach gets down on own knee and finally proposes to Kaity. She says yes. They cheer. Yay... I guess — I just feel so bad for Gabi.
Cutting back to the live audience, Jesse sits down with Kaity and Zach, and the couple announces they will be moving in together during the summer. Zach says he knew at the final date it was Kaity and “it has always been Kaity.” Like, that's not what you told Gabi 10 minutes ago…
Anyways, after the longest finale ever — with many ups and many, many downs — season 27 is over. I hope you enjoyed the drama as much as I did. Feel free to email me your thoughts on this season at: email@example.com
Now we just have to wait until June 26 for Charity’s season— I'm sure it will be dramatic.
Until then, have a great rest of the school year Hoosiers! Hopefully Zach and Kaity — unlike most Bachelor Nation couples — last at least a year.