Flying economy, let’s be blunt, is a tolerable experience at its best and a horrific, never-ending nightmare at its worst.
Allow me to set the scene — you board your 10-hour international flight, waddling your way to the back of economy. In the distance, a baby cries. You squeeze through the narrow aisle, dodging flying suitcases as fellow passengers swing oversized carry-ons into the overhead compartments. You manage to arrive at your seat unscathed.
Score, you’ve snagged the window seat. You just barely fit into the golden seat you surely paid extra for and glance out the fingerprint-smudged window. What a nice view of the aircraft’s right wing you’ve got.
Hey, it could be worse: at least you don’t have the middle seat.
Well, folks, it might just get worse.
Zodiac Seats France, one of the world’s largest airline seat makers, has applied for a patent to give the middle seat a whole new perspective. This new design reconfigures the seats so every other passenger in a row is facing toward the back of the plane and directly into the eyes of fellow ?passengers.
The goal of “Economy Class Cabin Hexagon” — or more like “Bitch Seat 2.0” — is to “increase cabin density while also creating seat units that increase the space available at the shoulder and arm area.”
Translation: Let’s pack them all in like sardines and hope they won’t notice.
True enough, it would increase the number of passengers of a typical Boeing 767 by up to 80 fliers and increase elbow room. And to make exits easier, the seats would even flip up when you stand. It’s just like in a movie theater, kids.
Essentially, you are getting a trade off of getting slightly more elbow room and shoulder room for being forced to make constant eye contact with strangers for hours at a time.
For us solo travelers, a quiet, undisturbed flight is all we can pray for. We can open a book, plug in our headphones and pretend the person next to us taking up more than their fair share of elbow room ?doesn’t exist.
Economy travelers already put up with a lot: ever-shrinking seats with no legroom, narrow bathrooms with weird-smelling soap, questionably prepared airplane food and that shrieking infant two rows back.
And I haven’t even touched on the headache that is airport security and those absurdly expensive ticket prices. I’ll save that for another time.
The goal of airline companies isn’t to make their fliers more comfortable — it’s to make as much money as humanly possible. Unfortunately, airlines know they can charge whatever you’re willing to pay, and they can get away with it, too.
But this is just one step too far in the wrong direction. I already relinquished what was left of my dignity when I paid an extra $50 for a window seat.
However, I don’t see any sane person allowing this cabin design to ever become a reality, at least not in quite some time. But desperation breeds ?innovation, right?
For now, let’s hope it does not spawn this ?innovation.
nrowthor@indiana.edu
