In 2010, the renowned rapper J-Kwon came out with the song “Tipsy” and informed the world “teen drinking is very bad.” At the Editorial Board, we realize the student body doesn’t want to be lectured to about the perils ?of drinking.
Our “dry” campus is pretty damn wet, and we understand sobriety isn’t going to happen.
Instead, we’d like to give you a few helpful tips to avoid the big house during the Little 500. No one wants to spend the best college weekend of the year in the slammer. And it’s also important to ?stay safe.
In a world full of flobongos, fish bowls and dizzy bats, some wonder if the “party” has gone too far. We like drinking games. That’s a fact. But do we like puking or getting taken advantage of? No.
Rule No. 1: don’t be a bystander. If you see something, say something.
No excuses.
Our generation instills rape culture in our media.
Take spring break in Panama City, for example. Authorities received a video depicting a gang rape, which later went viral. This is not an isolated case. The bottom line is we can’t be ?witnesses to such terrible crimes.
Those who have had a little too much to drink shouldn’t have to suffer from rape culture. We need to play the games safely, and sometimes this means we need to bench ourselves.
There’s always going to be the varsity frat star able to shotgun four beers in one minute. But occasionally we need a reminder that not everybody can ?do that.
Everyone wants to be able to hang. We want to drink as much as we want but still remain cool. In order to do so, we suggest playing JV by not drinking as much.
The JV drinker is just as avid and into drinking as a varsity drinker. A JV drinker wants to be a team player so badly, but the bottom line is they’re not there yet. So fake your shots, pour your beer down the toilet when you go to the bathroom, and you’ll still appear to look like you can kick it with the big kids. Trust us.
Unfortunately, when we’re drunk, we like to wander. Our fears become liquid courage, which isn’t always a good thing.
You can’t show up at some place and lose all track of who you came with. We all have friends, so make good use of them. Text friends when you’re leaving a party and have them hold you accountable for your actions and ?vice versa.
We’re all curious children. So follow the rules — no child left behind. Bill Armstrong Stadium is a pretty big space, so use the buddy system and don’t cross the street without looking both ways.
We know this stuff is mostly common sense, but when we’re drunk, common sense is thrown out the window, along with the two-story beer bong. Let’s play smart and make this year’s Little 500 a little less stressful and a lot safer.
