I have never had sex because I’m always insecure about having a small penis and I feel the girl would laugh and spread the word to her friends. I want to know what size satisfies a woman?
Women are sexually satisfied by far more things than penis size. In a study of more than 1,600 women and men, my research team asked people what helped them to be sexually satisfied or happy with their sex lives. We also asked people what made them dissatisfied.
Over and over again, women talked about the importance of intimacy, connection and feeling like their partner cares about what they enjoy sexually, as well as things such as passion and sexual variety. Very few women — maybe only three or four — wrote about penis size.
It’s not that penis size doesn’t matter to anyone, it’s more that — for most people who have sex with men — penis size isn’t the most important ?characteristic of a man.
In another research study where we collected data on men’s penis size and their sexual behaviors, we found that men of all penis sizes reported active sex lives.
I’ve often found that it’s concern about penis size — rather than penis size itself — that holds men back sexually. Similarly, women of all body shapes and sizes can have sexually active, interesting, enjoyable and orgasmic sex lives, but poor body images get in the way of many women seeking out the sex lives that they crave.
If you would like to be sexual with a woman, try to put your concerns about penis size aside. Get to know a girl so that you feel comfortable with her before you start being sexual. That level of comfort and closeness might help you feel like you can talk with her, and it might help build trust that she won’t spread rumors about you to her friends.
It will give you a chance to make good choices with your sexual partners rather than choose people who might not be careful with or sensitive to your ?feelings.
You can learn more about sexual technique, penis size and flirting with people in the book Great in Bed and on the website Scarleteen.
Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., is a research fellow and sexual health educator at IU’s Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. She is the author of five books about sex, including Sex Made Easy: Your Awkward Questions Answered for Better, Smarter, Amazing Sex. Check us out online at ?KinseyConfidential.org.
Kinsey Confidential is a service of The Kinsey Institute. For more good sex information, podcasts or to submit a question, visit us online at www.kinseyconfidential.org.
