'Winter's Tale'

I’ve never read Mark Helprin’s novel “Winter’s Tale,” so I can only hope he felt insulted by the mockery director and writer Akiva Goldsman turned it into.

“Winter’s Tale” is the story of Peter Lake, played by Colin Farrell, an orphan who grew up to be a thief in early 1900s New York City. He has an Irish accent, for no explained reason.

Peter used to run with a bad crowd, essentially the demon mafia of New York. The leader of the mob would be Pearly Soames (Russell Crowe), who feels he raised Peter.

As he got older, Peter developed morals and no longer wanted to harm people, inviting the unreasonable fury of Pearly.

Beverly Penn (Jessica Brown Findlay) is a young privileged woman dying of consumption, an illness that requires she stay cold even if it means sleeping in a tent on the roof in the middle of winter.

But Beverly doesn’t let her illness darken her life. She’s a gag-me-now optimist who sees the world in rays of light, which plays a central theme throughout the film. It’s that same optimism that allows her to fall in love with Peter when he breaks into her home, instead of calling the police.

This incident of love at first sight thrusts Peter into the role of the unlikely prince. He saves Beverly’s life, meets her father, teaches her some valuable skills, saves her family and takes her dancing. Then he has sex with her and she dies. Very romantic.

With little will to live, Peter is easily captured and disposed of by Pearly. But Peter survives and passes through time for almost 90 years with no memory. He only has an image in his mind of a girl with red hair.

Virginia Gamely (Jennifer Connelly) comes to his aid and the aid of the film in general. Together they try to understand why Peter hasn’t died, while Pearly wonders the same but for a completely different reason.

This film had the makings of a wonderfully tacky, somewhat-modern fairy tale. But the objective storyline has too many loose threads. The audience is never sure if it’s a battle between angels and demons or the abstract aspects of light and darkness. At one point, it’s explained by a Native American folktale.

It’s all just too confusing.

But, I must commend Colin Farrell. Through the chaos of the screenplay, his character was consistent. He played a man who went from having nothing to lose to having everything taken, and he did it with tenderness and thoughtfulness.

In her minor part, Jennifer Connelly stole the show. Her sincere performance grounded me to the real world even as the fantastical plot unraveled around her. She keeps the audience in their seats, while Crowe’s horrible accent pushes them away.

Whether the fault of the author or the screenwriter, there was just too much going on in this story. Let’s just hope, in the future, Akiva Goldsman sticks to action flicks.