Cheese with your whine.. and snow?

I want to complain about how cold it is.

I want to whine about how all the slush and salt on the ground is eating my shoes away like starving termites on a piece of plywood. I want to nag about how unfair it is that we have to go to classes when it seems that every other school in the state has been cancelled — or at least delayed.

I want to express my undying frustration toward Provost Lauren Robel for the ruthless email she sent us that dashed our hopes of a snow day, but my choice of words would either be censored or get me fired.

I know I’m not the only one outraged by the lack of mercy the University has been showing us during this second coming of the polar vortex.

Last week, the IU Bloomington Twitter received a vicious backlash after their tweets confirming classes for the following day.

The innocent puppeteers behind the Twitter account were feeling the heat and responded with a tweet basically saying not to shoot the messenger, complete with an unexpected Game of Thrones reference. The tweet was later deleted.

But I took a screenshot and like to reread it as confirmation that our complaints are affecting someone.

IU has a depressing reputation for never closing. Even as students complain about having to trek across the frosty campus, the rant usually ends with something along the lines of “but it shouldn’t be a surprise. IU never cancels classes.”

The University has closed 12 times since 1908, according to a post in the IU Archives. Eight of those times were directly related to cold weather, including the two-day shut down during break Jan. 6 and 7 of this year.

School wasn’t even in session during that one. That’s cheating, IU.

There were other closings not as directly related to severe cold, such as no heating in buildings in 1908 and a coal shortage in 1978.

I was hoping to find inconsistencies in the times IU has chosen to close. But in reality, what we’re going through is nothing compared to the classes here for the blizzard of ’78.

This doesn’t mean I’m going to stop complaining or making snarky remarks toward the administration for their useless emails that translate in my head as “suck it up or transfer to Florida State.”

This doesn’t mean I’m not going to roll my eyes every time IU tweets about how handy the bus tracking system is. I’m still going to mean-mug the gross, optimistic people who say, “It’s not that bad. Just go. You can do it.”

I’m going to continue doing all of those things because I’m young, blessedly immature and its nine degrees outside.

And when you get tired of my complaining, feel free to ask if I want some cheese with my whine. But you better be able to back up your offer.

­— lnbanks@indiana.edu
Follow columnist Lexia Banks on Twitter
@LexiaBanks.