Stop the madness, Obamacare

WARNING: the following is satire.

Dana Perino has come in like a wrecking ball. She finally had the guts to tweet about the real scandal rocking Washington. Obamacare is going to be offered in 150 languages.

She followed it up by asking a good question: “How can someone be expected to fill out their forms if they don’t speak English?”

Finally, someone recognizes the utter stupidity of this attempt at equality.

We’re all right with founding America on the idea that everyone is the same as everyone else, but by mandating it, Obama has taken it one step too far.

We are a nation that likes to say things, not do them.

And she makes an excellent point. We are a nation of opportunity, but you are going to have to work for it.

We can give you health care, but we’re going to pitch a fit about it. And now this. 150 languages? Do they expect us to learn Mexican and Spanish?

Obamacare may be free, but it needs to value all Americans, and by all Americans, we mean all English-speaking Americans. A recognition of the diverse and multi-cultural foundation of this country is not what we’re not paying for.

What will happen in waiting rooms across the country when real red-blooded Americans attempt to fill out their forms? What if they have to specifically ask for a set in English? What if they are accidentally given them in Japanese?

It’s a blatant and crude injustice. The system, quite simply, is not working. The system is putting Joe Plumber at a high risk for intellectual expansion.

It might force cultures to mix. If Obama does not stop this wretched dictatorship, we may have complete and total tolerance on our hands.

We could end racism. We could create a breed of mixed humans who might share heritage with not only South Korea and Wales, but also Brazil. They will be so accepting. How will America survive the oncoming cultural understanding?

If Obamacare is offered in 150 languages, we will perish. Worst-case scenario: our descendents will be blue and speak Na’vi.

Thank you, Dana Perino, for reminding us that even though the amount of immigrants in America as been steadily increasing since 1776, we are still a nation who firmly believes that football is the number one sport in the world and Christopher Columbus was a great guy.

Thank you for reminding us that even though we think and hope we are a progressive society, people like you still exist.

That makes us feel great.

­— opinion@idsnews.com
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