Pumpkin: The bastardized vegetable

Ask someone to make a list of everything that reminds him or her of fall.

They are likely to include sweaters, the changing color of leaves and that crisp autumn air everyone loves to cite.

There’s also a pretty good chance you’ll hear the drink that has swept America — the pumpkin spice latte.

Ten years ago, Starbucks debuted this autumnal drink. Since then, we’ve seen the rise — or demise, I’d argue — of pumpkin-flavored treats.

Pumpkin-flavored M&M’s, Coffee-Mate, Pop-Tarts, Hershey’s Pinnacle vodka and even Pringles adorn the shelves of grocery stores in the autumn months.

Scientists have said people are drawn to pumpkin because of its association with fall. Because the season and pumpkin goods only come once a year, people leap to get their pumpkin fix.

If you ask me, this is unfair to the other delectable flavors that should be associated with fall.

Though I look forward to pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving, I also anticipate the arrival of apples, sweet potatoes, persimmons and other cold weather squash at the grocery store.

I would be ecstatic to see bakers adding rich, maple-y sweet potato puree to their muffins and cookies, but maybe that’s just me.

More than any unfairness to the other fruits and vegetables of the season, this proliferation of pumpkin-flavored goods is the most unfair to the poor, bastardized pumpkin.

If you look at the ingredients of your beloved pumpkin treats, tell me if you can find pumpkin, cinnamon or nutmeg in the ingredients list.

They’re likely to be at the very end of a string of more than 15 ingredients, if they’re even there at all.

Food manufacturers have transformed the vegetable into an artificially flavored syrup whose high sugar content has addicted consumers across the world.

Now, I’m not trying to act like I’m above processed pumpkin goods. If you put a pumpkin spice latte in front of me, which contains no real pumpkin, I’m going to drink it and enjoy it.

That being said, I’ll also be fully aware that I’m not enjoying it because it tastes like my mom’s pumpkin pie, but instead because I like sugar.

All I mean to say is that if you want to call yourself a true pumpkin fan who appreciates its real flavor, eat the real damn thing.

Make pumpkin bread swirled with cream cheese, add some puree and ground cinnamon to your cookies, or even take advantage of pumpkin’s savory qualities and put it in a spicy Thai curry with pork over jasmine rice.

If you tell me you like pumpkin and list a pumpkin-flavored processed food, you don’t like pumpkin.

You just like sugar and artificial flavoring.

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— acarnold@indiana.edu

Follow arts editor Amanda Arnold on Twitter @Amanda_Arnold14.