Some helpful tips from a Mom

We asked Betsy McCombs, the mother of the Indiana Daily Student’s
summer editor-in-chief Max, about her experience with those four years at IU. Below is her advice on everything from academics to texting.

Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way.

First, this is a time to be happy, not to worry. You’ve already done the lion’s share of raising your student. Now it’s his or her turn to determine what comes next.

There will almost certainly be triumphs and missteps along the way, but they will be your student’s triumphs and missteps, not yours. Listen. Be supportive. If your student asks for advice, be honest. But don’t offer too much unsolicited advice about classes, social life, or anything else. Relish the fact that your “child” is actually a young adult now.

This independence is something to celebrate, not to bemoan. And just as you managed to separate from your parents and family, your student will too.

If your student is entering IU unsure about a major, encourage wide exploration. This is absolutely a good time to step out of one’s comfort zone and try something new. It’s part of the intent of the distribution requirements. 

The line about it being better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all applies to academics as well as to romance.

You don’t want your student to finish college having only studied subjects that he or she already succeeded in during high school, and you don’t want your student to regret missed opportunities.

Opportunities present themselves in various ways. The academic opportunities at a top-notch university like IU are patent. The social opportunities are nearly as limitless, depending only on the interests of your student.

There’s no question in my mind that my son got at least as much out of his work on the Indiana Daily Student and his community service trips to New Orleans with Y’ALL (Youth Advocating Leadership & Learning) as he did from some of his classes.

He also took advantage of university resources to find summer internship opportunities. There are opportunities everywhere!

There are opportunities for parents, too. If your student is coming to IU from somewhere other than Bloomington, and if you have the time, get to know this college town.

Ask around, and people will recommend good places to eat. Have breakfast at the Village Deli. Have pizza at Mother Bear’s or wings at Buffa Louie’s.

Familiarize yourself with the array of big box stores in the College Mall area so that when your student needs something urgently, you can suggest where to look.

The one piece of advice I remember receiving during parents’ orientation four years ago came from an IU administrator, who said “if you don’t already have unlimited texting on your phone plan, get it.” She was right. Texting is the communications medium of choice for many students. (My older son actually uses his phone to talk. Getting my younger son to call home requires a two- to three-week appointment, but he responds to texts almost immediately.) 

Being able to text also allows you to connect with your away-from-home student when you want to share the photo you just took of the family cat sleeping in the bathroom sink.

And finally, care packages. (This may be more important for those families whose students are coming to IU from far afield than it is for the locals, I’m not sure.) E-mail may have supplanted the US Postal Service for cards and letters, but I bet there are very few students who aren’t happy to receive a box from home every now and then.  What goes into the boxes is up to you — cookies, coffee, tea, T-shirts, magazines — you name it. My native Texan son seemed particularly happy to receive jars and bottles of hot sauce and salsas. If your student is similarly addicted to hot peppers, here’s another piece of advice I received from a USPS clerk. Use bubble wrap instead of, or in addition to, Styrofoam peanuts to protect jars and bottles. Always.