'Conjuring' real fear

It looks like an average terrible horror movie, feels like an average terrible horror movie and, on paper, has every single cliché of an average terrible horror movie.

But, it’s safe to say “The Conjuring” is one of the best, if not the best, and scariest horror movies of the past five years.

“The Conjuring” tells the story of a family in the 1970s, haunted by a Rhode Island house they just moved into. A pair of demonologists, the famous Ed and Lorraine Warren, played by Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga, come to dispel the demons, discovering in the meantime the demon has taken ahold of the mother, played by Lili Taylor. The movie, like almost every horror movie released these days, ends in the exorcism of Taylor, restoring peace to the family and the demonologists.

This sounds, like, so bad, right? Like, you may have yawned reading that synopsis. That’s where “The Conjuring” is such an enigma.

I knew what I was watching was cliché and overdone, but still, I was curling up in my seat, screaming, and having an absolute blast. I can’t remember the last time a horror movie sunk this deeply into me. This is what I assume to be the markings of good horror — the emotional distress it causes its audience and the fun it is to go through that distress. Kind of like a roller coaster.

Maybe it was the well-done atmosphere, an element a horror movie relies on heavily. Maybe it was the solid acting of Wilson, Farmiga and the entire cast. Maybe it was the outstanding production value. Maybe it was the fact it was based on a true story, basic as that may be, and maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that Ed Warren is the only demonologist ordained by the Catholic church. I really couldn’t tell you. It was probably the combination of all these things, but regardless, I can’t remember the last scary movie that was this scary and fun.

It’s so refreshing to see horror done right, because it is so incredibly rare. It’s like I’ve been drinking lukewarm water for years and “The Conjuring” is a nice, tall, horrifying glass of ice-cold water.

Go see it. Go see it with someone who doesn’t mind you clutching onto them for dear life.