Keep Calm and Carry On: This Valentine’s Day, love yourself

Question: Once again, I am alone on Valentine’s Day. What can I do instead of feeling sorry for myself?

Answer: Believe me, there are more of us out here who feel the same way you do during that lovey-dovey, Hallmark, chocoholic day. Even though the couples holding hands and the love in the air might seem to be staring you down, Valentine’s Day is just like every other day — you have the power to choose the way you feel.
The best way to make the most of a day celebrating love is to do exactly that, celebrate the love you give and recognize the love you are given.

The most meaningful Valentine’s Day I celebrated was last year in Ghana. My friends and I didn’t waste time moping about our single status but instead bought as much candy as our Ghanaian coins could buy and shared it with two orphanages in the village.

While handing out candy, putting smiles on faces and bringing love to those who were lacking it, we were told in Ghana that Valentine’s Day is about celebrating more than just romantic love, but friendship. Of course, we all want a partner to compliment us, hold us when we are down and share in the experiences we mutually enjoy, but love cannot be great until you love yourself. Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to treat yourself and remember the reasons why anyone is lucky to have you in their life, no matter what role you play.

There will always be times where you feel alone, afraid or angry to be on your own.  Don’t act like the Grinch, cursing the cute couples around you for what they have found. Instead, find the love that already exists in your life that you may be taking for granted.
Here are some things you can do this Valentine’s Day to feel your best.

1. Cook a dinner for the friends you love: This is what I’ll be doing this Valentine’s Day. Take those recipes from Pinterest you have been saving up for days and put them to use. Do something you love, get creative in the kitchen, pop open a bottle of champagne (or sparkling cider for the not-yet-legal folks), play fun games around the table and enjoy each other. There is nothing greater than good food, great company and some bubbly.

2. Have an “I Love Me” day: What do you love about you? There are so many things you can do to feel happy, energized and wonderful. Get romantic with Ben & Jerry’s, get a massage, download a new playlist and go work out. Do what makes you feel great. Once you love yourself, the rest comes right along.

3. Share the love you have to give: Nothing makes me feel better than playing with puppies. Go volunteer with those who need love most — cuddle up with a lab or donate your time to a cause you are passionate about. Paying it forward will always make you stronger. The best thing we can do to find love is to first share it.

It won’t be easy to see the commercials, candy sales or romantic date nights around you, but don’t start feeling sorry for yourself when you have so much love around you. Take a few minutes to feel down, but then go show the world (and maybe even potential lovers) all of the love you have to give.

­— espitzer@indiana.edu

This anonymous question was submitted to Eshley. Want her advice? Email arts@idsnews.com.