What your Halloween costume says about you

Studies show Halloween costumes, which widen the barriers of normal dress code, may show something deeper about who you are.

Halloween is the one night where we are allowed to break the rule of never judging a person by his or her clothing. Here’s my take on these frightening costumes.

An M&M, or any other sort of group costume

You and your friends wanted to do a group costume but enough of you didn’t look like the Spice Girls, so instead you just wore tight dresses of varying color with an ‘M’ on your chest. You’re severely lacking in creativity. You could’ve at least been Skittles.

A ‘sexy’ version of something

I could make insane judgments about you but because it’s Halloween and that’s so overdone, I’ll give you a break this year. Just make sure you wear a jacket so you don’t spread your cold to everyone in your class the next day. However, I will judge you if your costume is both slutty and indolent. If you’re wearing a tight dress and a tiara, I’m going to judge you. If you’re wearing an intricate slutty Princess Jasmine costume, I’ll still judge you but you’ll get points for effort.

Anything political
 
You’re witty and genius or you just want everyone to know that you’re slightly politically aware. This is a bit of a step up from the next category, but you’re probably a snob, so that cancels it out. You’re more of a snob if you dress up as Tagg Romney, oldest son of Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney. After this campaigning, Big Bird is now in this category.

Anything pop culture related, such as “Gangnam Style” guy or Suri Cruise

You read the news like crazy. How many times have you checked your Twitter feed today? However, Ryan Seacrest is your reputable news source and you’d like to send out a big thank you to TMZ for giving you all your breaking news. You have no idea what a drone is but god almighty, you knew Taylor Swift and teeny bopper Conor Kennedy weren’t going to last. You’ll get a lot of smiles this year, but sadly this isn’t an annual costume.

Anything historical

You spent half the night attempting to explain who you were. Usually after you yelled “Civil War General Robert E. Lee” over the loud house music, people pretended to hear and politely nodded, instead thinking you were a character in a Tom Hanks movie. Halloween is the only time you get to step out of your white tennis shoes and pale khakis, so you really wanted to go all out this year. However, next year maybe go a bit more public friendly? And leave the bayonet at home.

An actually frightening costume

Congrats on bypassing the snobby culture and sexy anything costumes. You like Halloween because it’s scary, plain and simple. It gives you a chance to scare girls in dark places, but just be prepared for something to go awry, because pepper spray sales in Bloomington have gone through the roof this fall. Just keep in mind that Halloween is supposed to be a lot of fun and a little scary, not the opposite. Just don’t look like a possessed child that’s going to eat my brains, OK?

Trick or treat, and remember, everyone is judging you.

­— crshelle@indiana.edu