Even more IU Darwin Awards

We thought we got them all the first time. We were wrong. Here, we present a special "creative but stupid ways to drink alcohol" edition of the IU Darwin Awards. Just so you know, some people actually do these things. We recommend that you do not.

Eyeball shots

How repulsive must all the other party people be if you have the urge to pour alcohol into your eyes?

While they may not be boyfriend, girlfriend or even Jersey Shore housemate material, chances are there are plenty of nice people for you to meet.

Blinding yourself is not going to make Joe Bro or Jane Doe any more eligible or
attractive.

Save yourself from permanent eye injury and from the embarrassment of waking up the next morning with burning eyes, looking at the beastly being you mistakenly stumbled home with.

Even if you score a hottie, the Atwater Eye Care center isn’t a fun first date.  

Butt-chugging

Even for the Martha Stewarts of creative ingestion methods, this is a little far-fetched.

How many other methods went wrong before the first butt-chugger said, “Forget it! Just pour the liquor through a funnel into my butt!”?

Before you decide butt-chugging is for you, consider the consequences.

Everyone will see your butt.

Everyone will take pictures and videos of your butt.

Everyone will laugh at your butt, not with your butt.

You will also have to uncomfortably drive, ride the bus or waddle to the store and buy someone a new funnel.

Tampon-soaking

Once you’ve considered putting a vodka-soaked tampon up in there, it’s probably best to stop drinking altogether.

This method will not give you the heavy flow of alcohol you need to get wasted, which, if you’re willing to try this one out, is probably what you’re aiming for.

We recommend getting your kicks in some other, less frightening way.

After all, who wants to introduce mom and dad to the chick that soaks her tampons in
alcohol?

Actually, the guy who was butt-chugging last weekend probably does.