Column: How many wives do you have?

It’s a very odd feeling to be married at 20. It’s even weirder when your husband doesn’t actually exist.

For the last five weeks, I’ve been living a lie.

In Egypt, I’m married.

One of the first things us women were taught upon arriving is to always say you are married when asked. Some girls here have even taken to wearing wedding rings when they leave the dorm.

Being “married” gives us freedom.

Marriage is one of the Middle Eastern issues that Westerners misconstrue.

When people think of marriage in Egypt, they think of harems and abuse. It’s thought of as something young girls are forced into, usually with much older men.

Those are all by far exceptions to the norm, and I’m pretty sure that last one occurs as often in America as here.

I won’t deny that marriage here is viewed much differently than in America.

It’s interesting because in the States, marriage is often seen as a trap. It’s something to put off for as long as possible in order to maintain freedom.

In Egypt, people marry to gain freedom.

If you’re a married woman in Egypt, you can travel alone. The harassment drops off drastically if men see you wearing a ring.

Marriage is also a means of freedom from family. Even in college, the vast majority of students live with their families.

Upon getting married, you can finally leave the nest.

Plus, premarital sexual relations of any kind are illegal in Egypt. They still occur, but at drastically lower rates.

By the time you reach your early twenties, who wouldn’t be willing to marry if it meant finally having freedom?

Of course, there is one distinct difference in marriage between the States and here.

In Egypt, polygamy is legal.

The Quran, or the Muslim holy book, allows polygamy. Each man is allowed to have up to four wives, and this remains true in Egypt today.

Wives are not allowed to marry more than once due to the issue of knowing who the father of her children would be.

DNA testing wasn’t really a thing in Quranic times.

Legally, the first wife must be notified and approve before this occurs. They are allowed to divorce if they find the situation intolerable.

In fact, Islam was the first religion to allow divorce. The regulations for divorce are outlined in the Quran, along with basically what constitutes alimony laws for the divorcees.

It’s one of the first documents that clearly outlines a woman’s rights in the case of divorce, which many find hard to believe, but it’s true.

Woman’s rights were not nearly as advocated for in the Bible.

Today, polygamy is rare, but it happens, even in Cairo.

At first, this really appalled the feminist in me.

But, given the social status of women here, it makes sense to consider this option.
I don’t think I could ever do it, and the vast majority of Egyptian women agree, but it makes a little more sense if you try and see it that way.

I’m not going to say I understand completely. I can’t imagine having to think about a husband or family on top of taking care of myself.

Fortunately, mine are imaginary.

­— hannsmit@indiana.edu