The golden mean

If Kanye West and Jay-Z’s “N***as in Paris” video weren’t as completely awesome as it is, it might look something like ASAP Rocky’s video for his first hit, “Goldie.”

It even features things we know Kanye loves: Caucasian female models, naked Caucasian female models, gold, standout fashion and expensive cars. On top of all those great things, let’s go ahead and actually drive around in Paris, right under the Eiffel Tower.

As per the title of the song, one can imagine there’s an abundance of the precious metal floating around. On the contrary, it’s surprising how golden a naked girl can look when the lighting is done just right.

Rakim Mayers self-directed the video for the hit off his debut album “LongLiveASAP,” which is scheduled to drop in July. The Harlem rapper was nominated for the BBC’s Sound of 2012, but he’s a stretch from the average East Coast rapper.

The slow-moving beat laced with a nearly “chopped and screwed” hook undeniably brings a feeling of Houston hip-hop to the room.

So, throw your red-bottom loafers over the side of your fancy convertible and enjoy the ride. If you don’t have any of those things, like everyone else, you can always watch the video and pretend.

By Patrick Guilfoyle