Author, IU alumnus Harlan Cohen talks ‘theory of thongs’

IU alumnus and syndicated advice columnist Harlan Cohen talked dating, thongs and “Getting Naked” Monday night in the Indiana Memorial Union’s Alumni Hall.

Also the author of the New York Times bestseller “The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College,” Cohen’s latest book, “Getting Naked: Five Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life (While Fully Clothed and Totally Sober),” tackles relationships and is scheduled to be available April 24.

“I have always loved women, and women haven’t always loved me,” Cohen said. “And I wanted to figure out why, and I also wanted to help other people figure out why.”

Cohen found the secret to dating and relationships 12 years ago, he said, and from that, his five-step  process came to be. Although the process started with intentions of finding love for himself, he said it’s now about helping people of all sexual orientations find love.

Cohen encouraged students to put themselves out there and grant their potential partners permission to not return mutual feelings. Cohen said doing so allows people to overcome the fear of rejection.

He also offered the audience a theory of three thongs, advising them to become comfortable in their “physical thongs,” “emotional thongs” and “spiritual thongs.”

“The thong is so accessible,” Cohen said. “They say to you, if you’re comfortable in your skin, it’s going to be harder to accept feedback other than the feedback you want. But it’s much more exciting to say you’re comfortable in your thong than comfortable in your skin.”

Cohen said he didn’t know exactly how the three-thong concept came to be, but referenced a moment during his internship at “The Tonight Show” when he received a thong because they kept underwear in the dressing room.

Before he graduated from IU in 1996, Cohen was a columnist for the Indiana Daily Student. Since then, his column “Help Me, Harlan!” has run in various daily, college and alternative newspapers across the country. During his time at IU, he was also one of the founding members of short-form improv troupe Full Frontal Comedy.

Following his talk, students lined the stage to talk with Cohen about their own relationship questions.

Sophomore Ernesto Arevalo hadn’t seen the talk advertised until an hour before it was scheduled to begin, but had read “The Naked Roommate” right before coming to college. He said it strengthened his relationship with his freshman roommate.

During the talk, Arevalo and several other audience members were singled out for not being in a relationship. The purpose, Cohen said, was to allow single people to be aware of the other single people in the room who they otherwise would not have known were available. Arevalo said he didn’t mind being singled out and was actually happy to have the chance to talk with Cohen.

“It’s cool that he’s doing something on the relationship side,” Arevalo said. “It’s something that we think about all the time, but we don’t really know how to express ourselves when we talk about it.”

Cohen said those who missed the talk can get more information about finding love at gettingnakedexperiment.com.