America's untalented idolatry

Why does everyone suddenly think a career as a professional vocalist is a viable option?

Between “The Voice,” “The X Factor” and somehow-still-alive “American Idol,” it seems every other person now thinks he or she could make it in the music business.

Where is Simon Cowell when we so desperately need him?

As a singer myself and part of IU’s Ladies First, I’ve considered trying out for any one of these shows. I’ve never given into the urge.

Being a fairly realistic — or possibly just cycnical — person, I’ve realized that even should I miraculously win one of these competitions, which I in no way ever would, I would have no viable career in entertainment. Most of the people who win these shows seem to be notable for a month or so and then fade slowly into nothingness.

Heard anything from Taylor Hicks lately? What about David Cook? Kris Allen? Lee DeWyze? What about Fantasia Barrino?

Any of the people who were in the top few contestants on “The Voice”? Melanie Amaro, who won “The X Factor” last season, was in a commercial with Elton John doing a terrible remix of Aretha Franklin’s “Respect.”

The thing is, the three major vocal talent competitions in the United States (“America’s Got Talent” doesn’t even count at this point) have lost much of the cultural relevance they might have once enjoyed.

When “American Idol” first emerged, it was groundbreakingly successful. But it’s past its prime. America should be moving on.  

These shows advertise instantaneous stardom for their winners. They’re marketed with the idea that they can provide a user-friendly version of the American Dream — one that doesn’t require three to five years of hustling in Los Angeles or New York or, to be blunt, much vocal talent in the first place.

It’s dishonest and misleading.

I’ve known many wildly talented people who have tried out for these shows. Some are music students or professional musicians.

Not a single person I’ve ever known has made it on. It’s terrible to hear about extremely gifted vocalists failing to make it on and then watching, for example, the blind audition rounds of “The Voice” and hearing Christina Aguilera rave about someone whose audition was pitchy, breathy and overall weak (also known as every other performance on “The Voice”).

Where has all of the talent gone? Most of these shows feel like semi-talented live-band karaoke rather than a competition of America’s best vocal performers. I honestly think this is why these shows should lose their relevance.

They’ve become so concerned with finding contestants with the right look, the right history or the right tear-jerking life story that they overlook actual talent.
The person who finally wins is probably not the best person who auditioned for the show.

That’s not how talent competitions are supposed to work. The best man or woman is supposed to win. And yet, they’re not winning. They’re not even included.
In the end, what producers of these shows miss is that America really doesn’t care that much about your two children or your low-paying job with dreams of stardom.

Most musicians and artists have to overcome a series of hurdles to attain success. That’s just the nature of art. The only thing that guarantees lasting success is pure skill.

Vocal talent competitions can’t replicate the success of measly voices such as Britney Spears, if only because you really can’t get away with having a measly voice anymore unless you’re backed by Disney or you’re a prepubescent boy.

So Kelly Clarksons of the world, show yourselves. We need you to revive a dying genre.

Because, frankly, watching these shows die their slow deaths is getting a little old.

­— kelfritz@indiana.edu