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Thursday, March 28
The Indiana Daily Student

A Lorax to abhor-ax

the lorax

When soapbox preaching is all you’ve got, / This movie’s just not going to get better; it’s not.

You’ve got no tricks up your sleeve, no imagination to spare. / Finding someone who will like this “Lorax,” it’s rare.

“Dr. Seuss’  The Lorax,” who are you named for? / Surely not the children’s author we all adore.

You concealed his message of dire consequences and caring / With a meaningless plot, too many characters, not enough sparing / Of your brainwashing opinions. You see, they don’t fit / In this children’s loved fable. They don’t, not one bit.

Your opening song about loving pollution, / About little boys glowing, about society’s delusion, / It made me cringe when I heard it, feel uncomfortable in the theater. / The constant warnings were like you killed a conservative horse, then beat her.

Seuss’ book is filled with fantasy. It’s simple. It’s modest. / Your story is critical; it points fingers. Let’s be honest, / You know that it’s obvious, right down to that sign / During the Once-ler’s song that points to big business’s crime. / “Too Big to Fail” — we all know who you’re shunning. / Come on, directors, that’s not clever or cunning.

But you did do something right: This film sure is pretty. / The colors are gorgeous, even if the dialogue’s not witty. / You made me laugh a few times, and those bears are the cutest. / But don’t be fooled, moviegoers. Take my advice: Don’t view this.

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