Maybe it's not Maybelline

I used to love makeup.

Since my freshman year of high school, I’d put on cover-up, concealer, powder, eye shadow, eyeliner and mascara every day.

I didn’t mind going without it when I was by myself, but if I were ever around other people, I had to have it on.

I was a little insecure about my skin, and I thought that I wasn’t as pretty without a little dab of makeup here and there to “bring out my features.”

I used it half as a tool of my own vanity and half as a security blanket.

I think this is an attitude many women who wear makeup daily share.

You become so accustomed to how you look with it that going without it seems almost unthinkable.

I certainly wasn’t someone who was unrecognizable without it. I didn’t wear anything extreme, such as penciled eyebrows or false lashes.

For the most part, besides the red lipstick I sometimes still favor, I preferred a more natural look. When I don’t have all of my products on my face, I still look pretty much the same.

My blonde lashes make me look a little younger, and my skin looks a little less even-toned. But that’s about it.

Even so, putting it on every morning felt like putting on a coat of armor.

It was as if Maybelline had literally liquefied beauty, and that it was the products that made me attractive, rather than my own face.

Even though I knew it didn’t do a lot to change the way I looked, the feeling it gave me about my own appearance was addictive.

Without makeup, I felt normal. With it on, I felt exceptional.

And yet, lately I’ve almost stopped wearing it.

Part of this change comes from a combination of my boyfriend and my mother. Both of them are always telling me how I don’t need it.

“You’re young,” my mother always says. “There’s nothing wrong with looking that way.”

Although I tried to take it as a compliment, I didn’t actually process what they were saying until fairly recently.

At first, going outside without it was a complete accident.

I’d be so rushed getting ready in the morning that I’d forget to put it on.

For the whole day, I’d think everyone I knew was looking at me, wondering why I looked so different. But no one said anything.

Strangely enough, people responded the same way to me without makeup as they did with it. Without makeup, I didn’t suddenly stop feeling good about myself. In fact, I feel better than ever about myself.

Presenting your real face to the world gives you such confidence. The fact that I can still feel beautiful even with my ruddy cheeks and blonde eyelashes is invigorating.

I still wear it sometimes. I wear it when I go to parties or work. When I wear it, though, it’s not because I need it. It’s no longer  a crutch.

Instead, it’s a toy — something I use, not to make myself beautiful, but instead to play with colors and brushes.

It’s like playing with watercolors like I did in art class as a kid.

I’m still not sure if I can align myself with that camp of women who never wear a stitch of product.

We all have a friend like this. Someone who refuses or is just uninterested in putting colors on her face.

I’ve always been secretly in awe of them — not wearing makeup gives off such a devil-may-care attitude.

To each her own.

If your eyeliner makes you feel beautiful, by all means, wear it. I won’t judge you if you wear a thick coat of makeup to class.

We all have our own ways of manufacturing confidence.

But know that not wearing makeup isn’t the end of the world.

No one will suddenly think you’re ugly, contrary to what tabloid headlines of “Stars Without Makeup” might make you believe.

The makeup doesn’t make the woman. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

In our youth-and-beauty-obsessed culture, we all have admittedly skewed perspectives and distortions of what the media conveys as attractive.

Nonetheless, I can guarantee you that your makeup isn’t what’s making you pretty. It’s the face underneath.

­— kelfritz@indiana.edu