Buzz Babies

Every day a star, color, plant or random object is born.

After Beyoncé gave birth, Hollywood’s newest starlet is just one baby in a new generation of celebrity offspring destined to a life of unwarranted paparazzi encounters and promising careers in second-rate reality television shows. In honor of the bizarrely-named pop princess, we’ve collected a few of the most perplexing celebrity baby names you might not have heard of.

Blue Ivy
daughter of Beyoncé and Jay-Z
One baby to rule them all. This long-anticipated fame baby has disappointed us all with her incapability to wow us immediately. Though we have yet to see a picture of this princess, the mental images conjured by this poorly-chosen name is enough to turn us right off.

Kyd
son of David Duchovny and Téa Leoni
Hopefully the son of the “X-Files” and “Jurassic Park III” stars doesn’t mind being called a kid or compared to a young goat all his life. The toddler already has a fan-made website, which features some more than unsettling collages.

Diezel
son of Toni Braxton
The poor guy never had a chance. Whether you’re thinking of the expensive designer clothing label or the gas that goes into semi trucks, both connotations are poor associations for the child, which you birthed.

Tu Morrow
daughter of Rob Morrow
What’s more unfortunate than the countless references this child will get to the famous song from the musical “Annie,” is that in Spanish, he will never be known as anything other than “tu” (you).

Jermajesty
son of Jermaine Jackson
Perhaps Mr. Jackson was satisfying some form of self-appraisal, or he just really wanted everyone to bow down to his kid. Either way, it’s
not working.