Just give me my grade back!

College can be very stressful. Some students are stressed because their roommate keeps using their shampoo and won’t take out the garbage. Other students are stressed trying to finance books, parking tickets and tips for delivery guys.

Others are stressed about washing and folding their own laundry, and some students stress about stress. But the most stressful part about college, without a doubt, is the college exam. You see, everything about a college exam is stressful.

Prepping for the exam is stressful. Actually sitting down and taking it can be stressful. And there’s always that anxious buildup to the test. You know, when you’re in the test room but not yet taking the test.

Your teacher, for some reason, is always giddy and calm on test day. She’ll take her precious time explaining how to take an exam. And she’ll introduce the class to a weird sheet of bubbles — she calls this a “Scantron.” Thank you for introducing me to this “Scantron” thing.

Some professors test the limits of our sanity by cracking jokes, as if it will calm the mood. Look, professor lady, I’m cracked out on Monster and this thing called sleep deprivation. I know the routine, and I’d really appreciate if you just gave me the exam. There’s no chance I retain any of this information, and I will soon collapse of narcolepsy anyway, so time is of the essence.  

But the worst part about exams isn’t the studying. And it’s not actually taking them. The most antagonizing part of college exams is simply waiting for your grades to be posted. Look, I know some tests can take a long time to grade. Going through 100 essays and short answers isn’t the most ideal way to spend a Saturday night.

But the fact of the matter is this: There is a disparity among professors on campus in regards to grading. Some professors take forever to return grades while others are reasonable. Some professors use the gradebook feature on OnCourse, while others are not yet up to date with computers. 

I’m not saying teachers should zip through tests and disregard all other facets of life. I’m just saying students put far too much time into tests for teachers to put off the grading.

Why it takes two weeks or more to return a Scantron test when your class has TAs is beyond me. And yes, I’m still very salty about that. I’m sorry if I’m coming off as unappreciative; that’s not my intention. But students come to school for one reason.

We come to school to study our butts off so we can get good grades so we can get a job. I’m not here to lollygag. At least not when it comes to grades. And grades for final exams are required within the week because grades for the semester are due.

So, I know you can do it.

­— acohn@indiana.edu