Hosting for dummies: how to impress partygoers

I dearly appreciate the overwhelmingly positive response I’ve received for the column I wrote last week about the troubling state of affairs in Bloomington.

I’m also grateful for the thoughtful responses to and criticisms of my columns on sex inequality and gay marriage.

This week, I’d like to address something a little less heavy. It’s the time of year when finals draw near and the days grow shorter. I don’t know about you, but a little levity is desperately needed.

For me and my roommate, the levity arrived in the form of a special occasion last week: It was the first night of the semester we’d thrown a real party and on a Thursday, no less. This might not seem like a big deal, but it was a welcome relief from the real world stresses we’d both been facing.

Here are six guidelines to help you throw your own successful bash.

1. Invite the right people.

This might not only include your friends. It’s worth it to branch out of your comfort zone to ensure the most compatible group of people possible. If everything goes according to plan, you might even make a few new friends.

2. Indulge yourself.

If you enjoy being the life of the party (I can’t ever seem to help myself), design a brief moment in the spotlight for
yourself.

Personally, I enjoy queuing up Beyoncé’s pop gem “Countdown” and breaking out into a “spontaneous” choreographed dance. If you’re more of a reserved party-goer and/or party-thrower, take a minute or two to call a friend and tweet something absurd.

3. Expect the unexpected.

One of the more unexpected hits at our party was fresh fruit. Bananas and apples were within reach for our guests, and they took advantage of it without a second thought.
It’s important to satisfy cravings that you and your guests didn’t even anticipate. This principle also applies to expecting rowdy guests, random spills and dying iPods.

4. Play Prince.

No explanation needed.

5. Bust out the Twister mat.

The Twister mat is a multifunctional godsend. It protects cherished rugs from spilled drinks. It designates a dance floor and facilitates more advanced moves. It could even be the site of an impromptu, late-night game of Twister, which is always a good idea.

6. Be safe and take care of your guests.

I’ve saved the most important rule for last. Because you’re playing host, you’re also responsible for protecting your guests from themselves and each other. Check that everyone is behaving responsibly and within their limits. Make sure you have an open couch or two for those guests who need a place to crash, and ask if leaving guests have a place to stay. Look out for each other.

I’m no party-planner, but chances are, neither are you. I know it seems slight to marvel at the benefits of a well-thrown party.

I know this is a demanding time of year. Even so, having a party can simultaneously provide constructive stress and relief, and implementing these rules can only help.

­— ptbeane@indiana.edu