Column: Hypothetical text messages

Five years ago, it was common for someone to not respond to a text message due to the “limitations” on the monthly bill sent home to Mom and Pops. Now it seems as if paying the $10 or so per month for an unlimited text plan is a must in the sports world, especially when recruiting and inter-office matters are taken into consideration (something one basketball coach knows all too well).

But wouldn’t it be interesting to see some of the text conversations media figureheads, coaches and athletes alike share on a day-to-day basis?

Yeah, we get the gist of what coaches say to their potential recruits through the typical Q&A sessions. But rarely, if ever, do we get an insight as to the specifics of those serious, laughable and surely sarcastic text exchanges.

Personally, I’d love to see the following hypothetical messages...

IU coach Tom Crean to Michigan State coach Tom Izzo: Can ur student mentor his teacher in some recruiting Xs and Os?

Former IU football coach Bill Lynch to current IU football coach Kevin Wilson: Coach, what flavor of juicy fruit you throwing in 2day?!

Assembly Hall Gorilla to IU Athletics Director Fred Glass: Mr. Glass, when is my big head going behind the basket?

IU high jumper Derek Drouin to former IU receiver Tandon Doss: Me ’n u in 40-yard dash for ur 1st signing bonus?

PGA golfer Jeff Overton to junior outfielder Alex Dickerson: Can I get a lesson in the long ball? Watching Tiger right now isn’t helping me very much, lol.

Former IU basketball coach Bob Knight to former Purdue basketball coach Gene
Keady: Ur making me look bad still coaching, u can have one of my rings if the whole first championship saga is behind the St. John’s assistant gig...

With those unlimited plans, there are always going to be responses...

Izzo to Crean: Sure, after they hang a banner!

Wilson to Lynch: Out west we don’t chew gum, coach

Glass to Gorilla: Only if u show ur face!

Doss to Doubin: How about in September? We can get some TV exposure since there won’t be ne football on.

Dickerson to Overton: If u give me the scoop on Tiger b4 TMZ gets it.

Keady to Knight: Aren’t u due for a live report about now, Bobby? 

­— ftherber@indiana.edu