A hot election season

There are plenty of Republicans ready to strip down and run for president in 2012. Look out Mitch Daniels, we picked a few of our favorites.

Scott Brown

America didn’t see it coming, but this silver fox never looked so good.

Senator Scott Brown is the definition of the political heartthrob. Having already been a (semi-nude) model during his twenties and an accomplished legislator in Massachusetts and Congress, what’s more to love in a man? He’s got both power and looks. Plus, his wife is also a hottie (Can we say the next Barack/Michelle?).

But America knows that looks only help a presidential campaign. Real public servants know how to flex their muscles while also using their brains
at the same time.

The senator has that covered too. Brown received his bachelor’s from Tuft University then later his JD degree from Boston College Law School. He’s smart and sexy. Now that’s hot.

For 2012, Brown will have to choose between a re-election bid and the White House. If he chooses the latter, then a match up against Obama is sure to heat up.
Brown and Obama’s political beliefs are oil and water. When Obama tries to fix the economy, Brown voted against unemployment benefits. The senator disapproved of Elena Kagan when the president loved her. While Obama is the face of the liberals, Brown is the GQ for conservatives.

But no matter where the 2012 results fall, at least there will still be some eye candy inside 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Ron Paul

Rep. Ron Paul, R-Texas, might be three times the age of his largely college-aged supporters (he turned 75 last month),but he has nevertheless generated a great deal of enthusiasm among young people since running for president during the 2008 election cycle.

During that unsuccessful presidential run (who saw that one coming?), Dr. Paul generated so much enthusiasm among 18- to 24-year-olds that 500 high school and college chapters of Students for Ron Paul — which became Young Americans for Liberty after Paul withdrew his candidacy — were founded in just an eight-month span.

Much of his support resulted from his adherence to traditionally libertarian principles of constitutionally-limited government, free markets, sound money, permissive social policy, non-interventionist foreign policy and free pot for everyone.

Although the congressman did not win any primaries or caucuses in 2008, he placed second in seven such contests and set fundraising records that were all the more impressive given his relative lack of support in polls.  Dr. Paul placed a close third in the primaries with approximately 35 of the more than 1,500 delegates available.

Since end of the 2008 campaign, Dr. Paul’s political star has continued to rise, as he won the Conservative Political Action Conferance straw poll in February and was one vote shy of winning the Southern Republican Leadership Conference’s April poll.

Sarah Palin

Just when you thought the Republican ticket for 2012 was a boys only club, the wet dream of every young creationist is ready to take a stand for your rights.

You may know her from a failed vice-presidential bid in 2008, or perhaps because of her cute almost-son-in-law spilling her family’s secrets in the media, but from now on you will know her as a Mamma Grizzly, listen to her roar.

Sarah Palin says she believes in freedom, honor, liberty and a slew of other generic feel-good terms. She will fight for your right to grope a gun, respect a racist and harass a homo.

Perhaps known best for use of the phrase, “No Commie” after endorsing more government oversight for oil drilling, she is sure to spice up this election season with a slew of delightfully witty catchphrases.

If we’re lucky, she will hold onto her faux-folksy accent as she reaches out to (metaphorically) slap liberals with the notes on the palm of her hand.

God, guns, glory and Palin in 2012.

Mitt Romney

With his reputation for (somewhat) conservative stances and dislike of caffeinated beverages (he’s Mormon, after all), Mitt Romney has impressed many in the Republican Party.

He is widely credited with helping make the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City a success despite reports of corruption and bribery in the host city bid process.  Romney is also well known for his venerable tenure at Bain & Company (and was a co-founder of investment firm Bain Capital).

 However, he may have a tough time wooing uncertain voters who question the enacting of near-universal health care,  and gay marriage, In the wake of a blatantly Muslim president, American voters will have to grapple with the big question — can we afford to place another member of an extremist religious group in our highest elected spot?

His apparently flexible views on a variety of issues will probably earn him success on the national stage — just ask Senator John McCain.

Romney may look the part of a future U.S. president, but only time will tell if we’re willing to place another rich white man in the Oval Office in 2012. No matter what happens, he’ll still only be the second most attractive east coast politician — John Kerry’s got that spot on lockdown. (Brown’s pret ty cute, too).

If Sarah Palin is any indication though, looks may be enough to propel this Massachusetts money maven to GOP superstardom.

Mike Huckabee

Mike Huckabee’s candidacy will mean Americans can meet another man who believes in a place called Hope. And as obesity rates soar nationwide, we all yearn for another audacious bedtime story from a commander-in-chief.

Huckabee offers his book “Quit Digging Your Grave with a Knife and Fork.”

Governor Huckabee believes God helped him in the 2008 campaign. In a likely field of candidates that includes new-comers such as Sarah Palin and savvy returnees such as Mitt Romney, Huckabee, a former Baptist preacher, may again need a substantial amount of intervention from above to win in 2012.

Tea Party supporters will be delighted to learn about the number of ways Huckabee’s polymath skills will contribute to lowering taxpayer expenses. If elected president, Governor Huckabee won’t need to hire fancy, formally trained musicians to entertain guests at inaugural balls. In fact, winning the election might give Huckabee and his band Capitol Offense a first shot at performing at an official inaugural ball.

Evidence suggests Huckabee may also be handy with the White House’s holiday festivities.  His most recent book is a volume of 12 simple Christmas stories.

In search of a fiscal conservative, Republicans may find themselves a Renaissance Man who cultivates a blossoming of the arts.