Enjoying your staycation

Well, it’s been almost a full week since the end of the spring semester. The population of Bloomington seems to have dropped by almost 30,000. Those who are left in Bloomington are probably taking a class or two this summer. It can feel vacant on campus. Soon restaurants will start their summer hours by being closed.

Don’t worry, though; vacationing in Bloomington is a blast. I’ve been doing it for 20 years, and I have some tips to help you enjoy your stay.

First, be sure to have a job — something that will make the days go by quickly. The best-case scenario is a posh downtown gig, where you can sit around in stores with minimal traffic. Or, if you’re into something more fast-paced, there’s waiting tables.

Either way, it’s better than being unemployed. It’s rough getting up at 11 a.m. with a bowl of Crunch Berries, flipping between highlights of the NBA playoffs and episodes of “True Life.”

Venture off campus to Bryan Park. It’s got picnic shelters — perfect for illegal day drinking.

Remember that when the weather starts to get humid, it’s important to find either shade or water. Being without either is completely out of the question, unless you like the feeling of walking through a warm, damp blanket. Bryan Park’s pool is known for having the tallest water slide in town, the Twister. I’ve gone there at least once every year since I was three years old. I always spend the extra money to buy a water slide bracelet, but every year I can never work up the nerve to conquer The Twister.

I stretch while I wait in line; being limber is important. After 20 minutes, I’m at the top, not looking down. I sit down at the beginning and wait for the nod from the lifeguard. As his head slowly bobs up and down, I get nervous about how high up I am, thinking, “Everyone looks like crushable ants from here.” My fear of heights always gets me. I give up and walk down the stairs, pushing through the line. Elementary school kids have the most emotionally damaging kind of laugh.

Another way to get rid of free time is to check out comic book movies. The summer can’t have enough of them. As an aside, I want to remind everyone that I dislike comic books but love comic book movies. They get rid of 50 years of backstory and give me the simplest interpretation of the character that will fit into two hours. There’s no need to know the canon, like which one of the Super Friends Batman knocked up or when Thor’s brother will come out of his coma.

The midnight premiere of “Iron Man 2” got the whole town stuffed into two theaters, only to have them come out a few hours later disappointed that Robert Downey Jr. didn’t bang Scarlett Johansson. This frustration is common in comic book movies.

If you don’t follow any of these tips, at least be sure to work on your tan. That’s how others gauge their summer experience against yours.
 

E-mail: nicjacob@indiana.edu