A V-Day challenge

In the spirit of Valentines Day, I offer a new physical contest for those looking to meet new mates for the night/semester/rest of your life. While good looks and a nice suit will still grant you an advantage like most of your life, this game attempts to level the playing field to some degree. In many stories, the blind samurai is a common character.

With his eyesight gone, his other senses of improve to compensate and ultimately make him even deadlier. This game aims to make you a samurai of seduction.

How to Play: Each round, strike up a conversation with one of your senses removed. The order is as followed:

Round One: Taste – Eat a blazing hot chili pepper to dull your tongue. Any drink ordered won’t taste right, your mouth will be in pain and you might find yourself mumbling a few words.

Round Two: Hearing – Use earplugs designed for the heaviest metal concerts.

Round Three: Smell – Do not shower for at least two days before this round.

Round Four: Touch – The hardest one to replicate, still a challenge: You may not move your body other than your legs to walk around. Hands must hang straight at your sides. If anyone gets near you for physical contact, run away.

Round Five: Blindfold or dark sunglasses (when in barely-lit bars) – Sure you won’t be able to see and you’ll look like an idiot, but you’ll deserve any points you get in this round.

At no point may you explain your situation or the game in play. If they continue to press the matter, you should just act offended that they would call attention to something completely natural to you.

Points are as follows:

1 for a conversation that lasts more than five minutes

5 for a phone number

50 if it develops into a relationship

1000 if you end up marrying that girl.

I should also mention that this is a contest designed entirely for men. I would love for everyone be able to partake in this sport. Unfortunately, if women wished to score in this game, they would merely have to suggest that sex was available in every round.