The ’80s sucked

Nov. 9 marked the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall.

Perhaps now that we are reaching the end of the 20-year mark since the 1980s, we can witness the fall of ’80s culture permanence in our society. Not until everyone is free of the ’80s is anyone truly free.

The most obvious action is the need to stop the culture of Reagan worship. Yes, he did cut the top marginal tax rate down to 28 percent from 70 percent,thank god, heralding in an era of unprecedented income disparity.

And yes, he did remove the horrible fairness doctrine, with which many in talk radio got their start. These new talk show hosts then turned on their newly unregulated radio frequencies quicker than Clarence Thomas on affirmative action, giving an unprecedented domination of our airwaves to the small army of right-wing “Freedom Speakers” ranging from far right to the far, far right-wing mini versions of Father Coughlin.

And yes, Reagan did kind of blank out over the whole Iran-Contra thing, and the selling of weapons and drugs to finance these wars, but hey, he was a busy old man.
But this isn’t about the man who said Medicare would be the death of us all, that trees cause pollution, and, when opposing a Redwood National Park expansion, stated that: “A tree’s a tree, how many more do you have to look at?”  I’d be far from the first to point out the problems in Reagan’s policies, vast as they are.

Instead, it’s time to consider the atrocities people forget or gloss over. I speak of hair metal, Lita Ford, Flock of Seagulls and the many horrors of ’80s music and fashion.

I speak of hair metal, Lita Ford, Flock of Seagulls and the many horrors of ’80s music and fashion. I speak of my brother and his ’80s long-hair-over-one-eye Corey Feldman look. Devo. Feathered hair. Alice Cooper releasing an album full of love ballads with Bon Jovi. Bon Jovi. Toto. No amount of Ferris Bueller, The Pixies, REM or Sonic Youth albums can make up for that.

I had long hoped that my childhood in the ’80s would stay in the ’80s. That the spandex, popped collars and migraine-inducing fashion would remain in its place, much as every other generation’s has generally done.

Now we see Kanye West and mainstream America dressing like the ’80s again. Even when you look to the so called “indie” world, you find the same outfits, and way too many ’80s-style synthesizers and keyboards for comfort on any album not made by New Order.

Wall Street is now not just a movie, but a life ethic Milton Friedman would be proud of. Journey and Foreigner are the new Beatles and Stones. Instead of Van Morrison and Astral Weeks, kids look to Phil Collins for “soulful” music.

The 1980s took the self indulgence, righteousness and hedonism of the ’60s and ’70s into a nearly unprecedented shallow hole of vanity, selfishness, vapidity and greed.

And that might be the truly horrible legacy of the ’80s: A culture that still permeates our society, where all that matters is sales and popularity, where greed is god, Reagan is a hero, and anyone who questions this is a burnt-out old hippie still spinning their copy of Highway 61.