State representatives gone wild

Whether it’s the Bush administration’s lame-duck status making the legislative process seem fruitless or because the good cheer of the holidays, politicians across the world are suffering a surge of inexplicable rowdiness. Here are just a few of the wacky instances.

The conservative opposition leader of Australia’s New South Wales legislature was forced into retirement last week after shoving a female colleague at a Christmas party gone awry. The incident is reminiscent of the state’s Police Minister Matt BrownSeptember run-in with the law during what was described as a drunken post-budget office party. His resignation, too, was forced after he allegedly participated in dirty dancing over the chest of a female colleague while clad only in underwear.

In response, Australian newspapers have proposed that the state “breath test this mob” as a preliminary examination of legislator competence before votes are taken.

While it is a shame that the hilariously wild nature of the celebration obscures the potentially misogynistic undercurrents of the legislators’ frolics, Indiana residents might seriously consider testing the competence of their own lawmakers.

Our own legislators may need a time-out to calm down. The members of the Indiana General Assembly, like their New South Wales counterparts, also have had a difficult time distinguishing between work and play.

Before a U.S. district judge granted an injunction against then-Indiana House Speaker Brian Bosma and the House in 2005, representatives decided gospel music and prayer were more important than the official duties they were elected to discharge.

The Washington Post reported that “as (a State Representative) led the rollicking tune, some members and staffers clapped and sang along.”

If Indiana lawmakers don’t voluntarily perform their jobs in a professional manner, perhaps Indiana residents should follow Australia’s lead and institute the Breathalyzer. No evidence suggests Rep. Bosma or his cohorts were operating under the influence at the time of their spirited singing, so it might instead be necessary to develop a breath meter designed to gauge legislators’ propensity to break into song and eschew official duties.

Luckily, such a development shouldn’t be too much of a challenge for IU. Alumnus Robert F. Borkenstein invented the Breathalyzer in 1953 before he graduated with a B.A. in 1958. If only some student today were as willing as Borkenstein must have been to provoke the wrath of his peers, quality control might be possible in the State House.

Until then, a good way to find the best holiday party might be to write to your representative.