Height issues

I prefer to be referred to as vertically challenged, thank you very much. It’s something I’ve dealt with all of my life. I realized my shortness at a young age when I discovered I couldn’t reach the top cabinet where my mom hid the cookies. It was devastating. \nWhile everyone else could walk up and snag an Oreo unnoticed, I had to climb that mountain of a counter, then stand on my toes to try to secure a cookie between my middle and pointer fingers. If that didn’t work, I would have to drag a chair across the kitchen with books piled on top so I could gain a couple of feet and pray my mother didn’t hear. It usually resulted in a disastrous spill.\nHowever, these challenges didn’t end in my childhood. They followed me to college.\nWhile I was in Indianapolis with a friend of my same stature a month ago, a man came up to us and asked us whether we were brothers. We’re not. When I asked him why, he said it was unusual to see people as short as us together. He proceeded to laugh at us as if we should be ashamed of being vertically challenged. But I am not, and will continue to stand short. \nIn response, I want to share some of the benefits of my shortcomings. \nWhile that love seat is too small for everyone to sleep on when it’s time to pass out after a long night, my 5’3” stature allows me to turn it into an ideal bed. Have fun with the floor. It’s time for me to stretch out. \nIt also has its perks outdoors.\nWhen jogging down the sidewalk with my roommate, we often encounter obstacles such as low-hanging branches. While he either has to divert from our chosen path or duck to avoid being smacked in the face, I hold my head high and keep stride. Those cuts on your face are going to hurt. \nAir travel presents many opportunities for short people as well.\nDon’t you love being one of the last people to board the plane and then not having a place to put your bag? I don’t, which is why I’ll shave extra-carefully on the morning of a flight, then play the part of the 15-year-old who has never traveled before. The flight attendants then make sure I’m one of the first on the plane, and therefore have an ideal baggage spot. I’d like to thank my lack of height for this.\nNobody likes long plane rides. Remember how your legs were cramped against the seat in front of you the entire time? I don’t. I had more than enough room. While my short legs make it harder to put my bags in the overhead storage, they do allow me to stretch out and enjoy the ride. \nSo my short brethren, rejoice. We are the lucky ones. Would you rather be 5’3” or 6’11”? I’ll stick with what I have. And Mr. Average Height, you’re nothing special. I mean, who wants to be average?