What’s in a name?

Naming someone or something can be a very arduous process. Why? Because we’re conditioned to believe that names factor into the amount of success someone or something has. And while this isn’t always true, it is my hypothesis that names matter in one area: music. \nIt goes like this: The success rate of a popular musical act (read: artists who sell major amounts of records) is much higher if said artist adheres to the “name rules” set out for them. There is one caveat: To truly triumph, the artist must abide by the name-based classifications that their genre encompasses. \nPerplexed? Let’s cover some examples.\nCase one: Successful bands in the emo/punk genre always have a name that includes at least three separate words. Arguably the acts with the most mainstream popularity right now are Fall Out Boy, Boys Like Girls, Plain White T’s and My Chemical Romance. They’ve all had hit singles and played on major tours. What else is similar about them? They all have at least three-word names. \nCase two: Bands that make it big in the “modern rock” arena have a simple, one-word name. Quickly think of biggest bands in this genre. Chances are that names like Nickelback, Hinder or Creed came to mind. And they all have more in common than sandwich-in-mouth vocals. The most popular newcomer, Chris Daughtry, is obviously proof of my theory because he knew exactly what he was doing by naming his band Daughtry. \nCase three: Artists in the rap/hip-hop genre must have a stage name that includes some form of a grammatical error. This is the newest addition to my theory, as the outbreak of misspellings and punctuation blunders has increased “exponentially” over the past few years. The most obvious perpetrator of this is the use of “Lil.” For instance, Lil Wayne, Lil Jon, Lil Scrappy, Lil Mama. And of course, there’s the use of “Y[o]ung” — Joc and Dro, both of which has led to success.\nOf course, there are occurrences that bust my hypothesis – Kanye West, Linkin Park and Paramore are prime examples of a connection between correctly-spelled names and success — but generally, I think my theory is valid. I’ve also realized these trends have been around for longer than I thought. Glam rock bands from the 80’s, like Poison, all had one-word names, and don’t forget the numerical trend of the early 00’s with Sum 41 and Blink 182, which will probably never end. Yet, what’s more interesting is what these trends say about the styles and the people that listen to them. \nAm I generalizing to say that wordy emo kids like long-named bands or that the male-dominated audience of “cock rock” likes things simple? Or even that rap fans are young and so ingrained in text message slang that they relate more to those grammatically-challenged artists? Probably, but trends typically do appear for a reason, even if we don’t know the reason yet.\nSo, the next time you hear a new artist on the radio, use my theory to examine their name, and decide if they’ll have long-term success.