No hits, all misses

Lately, Hollywood studios have had so much trouble coming up with ideas that they've made many films based off of video games. "House of the Dead," "Doom" and "BloodRayne" are a few of the standout bombs, with the "Resident Evil" series being the lone semi-success. Sadly, no one has learned their lesson, and thus "Hitman" exists. \nThe film follows a contract killer known only as Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant), who was bred by a mysterious outfit known as "The Organization" to become an unstoppable killing machine. Agent 47 is hired to take out the Russian prime minister, but instead finds himself entrenched in a government conspiracy and on the run from other assassins.\nIt's obvious from its beginning that "Hitman" is a terrible film. The opening credits include a montage of Agent 47's origins, but the information provided is nothing more than him getting his head shaved and barcoded as a 15-year-old. More of his background is included in a dreadful voice-over.\nAnd then the film takes off and, well, limps. Ten minutes in, the entire plot is laid out for the viewer. It's as if there's not even a first act, and the picture doesn't get any clearer as it moves forward. Supposedly the prime minister who 47 kills isn't the real one, but a dubious double who has had his face taken off. It's never explained, however, who the impersonator really is.\nOlyphant is fairly strong as the title character, but he never quite seems like the total badass the film wants him to be. He has to deliver some awful lines but does the best with what he has. The rest of the performances are wafer-thin, but only because every character is nothing but a stereotype -- worn-out cop, arms dealer who does too much cocaine, etc. \nThe action sequences, though, are pretty good. There's not a lot of CGI explosions, and it's nice to see old-fashioned shoot-outs with a bunch of blood. The sequence in which 47 destroys the police at the hotel while he is barefoot is definitely the highlight.\n"Hitman" takes itself way too seriously, lacks a plot and includes caricature-like performances from most of the cast. Bloody action sequences and a quality performance from Olyphant fail to save it from being anything more than entertainment for the 13-year-olds who play the video game.