Online only: Don't Keep it

It's impossible to hear Northern State without thinking of them as the female Beastie Boys. The three "Lon Gisland" girls, Hesta Prynn, Spero and Sprout, punch the last beat just like the Beasties ("Knock knock. Who's there? Prynn, how you BEEN?/ Do you still have my copy of Huckleberry FINN?"). They dabble in rock and experimental production just like the Beasties. They're white, bright and geeky just like the Beasties.\nAnd just like the Beasties these days, they suck.\nDespite critical love, Northern State sounds like a bunch of privileged white girls play-rapping for a summer camp talent show. While they should have unique perspective in a hip-hop world dominated by lewd misogynists obsessed with their own greatness, they simply cannot rap, reminding me of Blondie's "Rapture," with equally comical lyrics. \nTake these sample rhymes from the highlight on the album, the Seussically suggestive "Things I'll Do": "Call me any time, I'll manage your damage/ I'll balance your budget then make you a sandwich." Ugh. While the production behind them evokes a funky double-dutch, the three girls' flabby rapping fails to illuminate their admittedly humorous, political perspective. Rhyming "2008" and "candidate" seems like the domain of local campaign staffers, not purportedly professional musicians.\nOn their third LP, Northern State has produced a record that spans genres and styles from the post-punk rock-out of "Cold War" to the old school wiggles of "Sucka Mofo." Each track begins with exciting sonic territory, but then these amateur karaoke-hour hacks sadly enter the stage. Ad-rock's production provides the Beastie blessing on boards, and their admirers are many: they've toured with De La Soul, Le Tigre, and Tegan and Sara. With pedigree like that, I want to like them a lot -- but just because they're the best rapping liberal Whole Foods intellectual girl group doesn't mean they're any good.