Little 500 vs. Grand Prix

Anyone else notice the 53rd running of the Little 500 bicycle race is Saturday? Judging by the widespread drunken debauchery we’ve noticed, combined with the thousands of stories in yesterday’s issue of the IDS, we’re guessing the secret is out.\nWe admittedly approached this year’s commentary at an immediate loss for statements to add to public discourse about the event. Most of the aspects of the race are covered extensively in our sports and campus sections. So what could we say that would be new and interesting? \nThen we realized that Purdue University’s Grand Prix will also be held Saturday. \nSince we jump at any opportunity to explain why IU is the best school in this state (most likely the nation), we came up with a few good reasons why our race week could beat up their race week in fight, even with one hand tied behind its back tire and its rider blindfolded.\nFirst, let’s get one thing straight. Little 500 is three years older than Grand Prix (in its 50th running this year). We’re not sure what they teach up there in north country, but we know down here that looking up to your elders is a matter of respect, and we would appreciate any groveling Purdue might feel compelled to give us. Was Grand Prix a reactionary creation to IU’s big race? Maybe, but that’s how rumors get started (rumor starts).\nThen, of course, there is police activity. Last year’s Little 500 week resulted in 37 arrests. A relatively low number considering the guesstimates in regards to the amount of alcohol consumed (remember the classic Little 5 slogan: Our school drinks more in one week than your school drinks in a whole year!). The 2006 Grand Prix week resulted in 141 arrests, a number that has been climbing consistently since 2003. The trend? It seems Bloomington police know how to let kids have fun as long as they stay safe. In contrast, the straight-laced conservatives in West Lafayette are out to ruin a good time. Cheers to Bloomington police!\nFinally, consider that until last year, both the IU Health Center and local Planned Parenthood showed increases in the prescriptions for emergency contraceptives during Little 500 week. IUB has about 1,000 more women on its campus than men. Purdue has about 6,000 more men than women. During the race weeks, IU brings back free love. Purdue brings back go-kart racing. I think we can pretty safely declare that “no contest.”\nSo as we indulge ourselves in Little 500 week, we take comfort knowing our tradition of drunken vice and public urination is far superior to that of the black and gold (though at least Purdue has a mascot; we want one).\nJoking aside, enjoy Little 500, be safe and remember that no matter what the little green fairy tells you, slipp-n-sliding down that embankment isn’t the best idea. Beer’s in the fridge.