Sadly, not Kittie's Funeral

Metal, like any other genre, is a complex, multifaceted world inhabited by both passionate artists and leeching fakers alike. There is extremely good metal out there: The fascinating story-telling and epic bass lines from Primus, the infectious high energy of Korn or Disturbed, and Pantera's raw ability to consistently rock your face off, for example. However, there is quite a bit out there touting itself as metal that is just plain awful. Kittie's newest endeavor, Funeral for Yesterday, is of the latter type. \nIn an unoriginal, painfully dull album that is equal parts Gwen Stefani post-Tragic Kingdom and tired Metallica rip-off riffs on an elephant-dose of Valium, these plastic tough girls try desperately to thwart the cruelties of aging by facing the world with rhyming couplets straight out of an eighth-grader's diary.\nLyrics like, "Your hate sustains me" and "Buried alive, I soon grow weak" sung in a thin baby doll voice leave the listener confused by the disconnect between the contrived, dark lyrics and their positively peppy voices. It's as if they're just happy someone gave them studio time. The lyrics themselves are so shallow and synthetic, it's like the girls sat down and said, "Okay, what are the most dark phrases we can think of?" then tracked them on top of some instrumental recordings collecting dust in a garage. There is no heart, no sincerity and no continuity between vocals and instrumentals. They are playing on the organic feelings of a young audience, hoping they won't know better so the band can make a buck. Vile.\nOn a rare positive note, the occasional guitar solos are impressively reminiscent of Slayer and give a welcome respite from the shallow, talentless lyrical musings of Morgan and Mercedes Lander. Those two need to shut up more often and let the obvious instrumental potential of their band mates save them from the embarrassment of their age-inappropriate whining. The many layers of driving, complicated beats and heavy bass lines merit recognition; however, they can't be heard most of the time, due to the overpowering, unbalanced vocals. \nOverall, Funeral for Yesterday is a complete waste of production time, attention, instrumental talent and plastic. The sound technicians responsible for the album's vocal-instrumental volume disparity should never be allowed to work in the industry again. The women of Kittie need to accept that they are no longer 14 years old and the world expects their message to reflect that. Once committed to a more organic angst coming out of true experience, Kittie could evolve to the higher echelon of metal infamy. Until they commit to their own personal truths, however, they will continue to ruin their own legitimacy with contrived sentimentality and a tired routine.